Yeah – I’m Still Not Over Hope World

Listen. It can’t be helped, okay? ARMY all over the damn world has been playing JHope’s hixtape on repeat ALL WEEKEND LONG! I know I can’t be the only one.

I know this is the third post in a row about it but just one more. Please humor me and allow me to specifically point out 3:06 of Daydream. This part just does it for me on so many levels! But the whole vibe’s got this retro-2000 era, garage house EDM beat that brings me back to so many fantastic clubbing nights! Oh my god – this is giving me all these nostalgic feels.

And it’s okay to be totally love it when it says, “Wake up” at the end???


Hope World is my new religion… as is JHope.

If I want something
If I want something, now
If I want something
If I want something, now
That’s a daydream
They dream, they dream
That’s a daydream
Daydream, daydream
Daydream, daydream
Wake up


Not-So Daily Kpop Challenge – Part VII

[30 Day K-Pop Challenge]

The next two challenges seem fitting to post within one entry – they both have nostalgic themes. Enjoy!

Day 15: A k-pop song that reminds you of someone you miss

BTS’ MIC Drop. I mentioned a friend of ours passed away suddenly in October 2017 at the age of 38. He was a huge hip hop fan. I’m talking traditional, old school hip hop! I wish I had made the time to get him to listen to k-pop. I’m not sure he would have liked it but I know he would have given it a shot because he was just an open person that way.

Day 16: Favorite k-pop lyric (and a translation)

I go through cycles of deep, haunting and playful, when it comes to favorite lyrics. I will admit I’ve always been a fan of BTS’ Blood Sweat & Tears though recently both their songs, Pied Piper and Sea has been on my radar. And when I first looked ahead at the 30-Day K-Pop Challenge and found this question, I was sure I was going to post one of those three lyrics. Now that I’m here, at Day 16, I find myself going back to a more playful and what I would describe as seductive lyrics – and that is EXO’s Playboy.

You know how some lyrics brings you back to a specific memory? That’s what Playboy does for me. Before meeting my now husband, I dated, partied, and yeah, I met a few (at least a few) players. Some played me. Some played me REAL good. And others, I knew, right from the beginning were ones I could only expect a fun time, no strings attached, most likely a one-time thing, and never, ever the type I’d ever bring back home to introduce to my family. EXO’s Playboy reminds me of those times I knew what I was getting myself into. Which was living in the moment and being with someone maybe a little dangerous (to the heart) was just that short and sweet moment I needed. (By the way, watching the below performance makes me miss Lay as part of EXO – I prefer his dance skills over Sehun).


Hey playboy haha (Boy)
(Hi dududu dududu) Let’s play

Don’t pick up your ringing phone
Let’s leave it alone
There’s no need to tell anyone but us two
Let’s just leave it alone, why are you worried?

It’s alright, it’s alright
I know your heart, it’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright
Show me all your secrets

My heart is covered black, your place
Your heart is burnt white, my place
Of course you can’t get sick of this play
(You know what it is?) Play play play
My words are forgotten black, my base
Your words have vanished white, your trace
You can’t turn things around in this play
Play play play

Play (Boy) play play (Boy)
Play play (Boy) play (Boy)
Play (Boy) play

When you think it’s too late, you’ve already
Fallen for me, it’s out of your control (Isn’t it?)
You knew everything from the start
And now you’re blaming it all on me?

I’m far from the bad things
You’ve imagined
From the bad niceness
I’m happy, please don’t run away
Don’t try to leave me

It’s alright, it’s alright
I know your heart, it’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright
Show me all your secrets

My heart is covered black, your place
Your heart is burnt white, my place
Of course you can’t get sick of this play
(You know that?) Play play play
My words are forgotten black, my base
Your words have vanished white, your trace
You can’t turn things around in this play
Play play play (Yeah, playboy)

I’ve decided what to call you
Just one kiss, that’s all
Whether it’s your luck or misfortune
That you’ve met a guy like me
Will be like a split road, yes
Like whiskey you’ve swallowed by mistake
I’ll make you hotter, more excited (Leggo)
I’m bad, I like doing things you tell me not to
Like I said, the main game didn’t even start yet
Push and pull me even more
I’m confident I will win
Every day, I’m dealing with
A new type of loneliness

Oh, I can’t stop
But same for you too
You don’t wanna lose me
(Right?) My babe

My heart is covered black, your place
Your heart is burnt white, my place
Of course you can’t get sick of this play
(You know what it is?) Play play play

My words are forgotten black, my base
Your words have vanished white, your trace
You can’t turn things around in this play
Play play play

Play (Boy) play play (Boy)
Play play (Boy) play (Boy)
Play (Boy) play (Boy)


Kpop Humor and Nostalgia

One of the main reasons I love BTS is their sense of humor. Sometimes their back and forth ribbing and their antics remind me of my friends and I (well, before we had to become these damn responsible ‘adults’ paying bills, raising young kids, etc. – I often remind my teen that we used to be a lot more fun until ‘all you kids came into our lives and sucked the life out of us.’)

We’re actually still that way with one another but not as often. Thank God for social media! We can at least send each other random things thereby going off of sometimes decades of inside jokes that never seem to die out. I show my daughter some of these threads of ours and all she does is shake her head and say, “You guys are SO weird.” That we are. That.. we.. are.

Anyway – for this lovely, snowy Monday morning here in Toronto, I figured I’d start this soon-to-be hectic week with a little bit of kpop idol humor. Meet Jackson Wang of GOT7:

By the way, I think Jackson is extremely handsome. I am not bothered by kpop male idols wearing make-up. I know people who do not understand the kpop scene think it is weird, even discriminating these guys for wearing make-up (cue rude jokes about them being feminine, etc.) but personally, I often like them when they are either bare-faced or with just minimal make-up so it’s barely noticeable. Why I am a Jackson bias is due to the fact he looks handsome with no make-up what-so-ever! (BTW, I think BTS also look good without make-up and they seem to be performing with less of it compared to the past – it makes me happy because they are not hiding as much of their natural beauty).

K-Pop Has Taken Over Our House

It’s part of parenting a teen. And no matter how you think you’re being on top of things all pop-culture, as most of my fellow parents are in my generation, it never fails – your teen will get into something which you didn’t see coming.

Lets face it – most of us have seen it all. We’ve been through the different types of fashion fads as they have recycled through time (with modifications of course). We’ve listened to all genre’s of music as well as movies and TV shows.

And until there’s a new form of STD, we’ve learned all about those, too! (And if we haven’t, we should – and we should also get up to speed of the latest drugs on the streets because it is just good practice to be prepared for these types of discussions with our kids).


K-Pop Band – EXO

The thing is, my 13 year old daughter and her friends, are now just CRAZY over k-pop. And I mean crazy-CRAZY! I have no problem with this. I didn’t expect it, to be honest. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am over-the-top thrilled they have discovered something outside the mainstream of North American pop-culture. I just didn’t know a thing about this subculture which actually, has a huge fan-base – and not just in South Korea but internationally.

I’ve been trying to keep up with her. She comes home and introduces me to new singles. I download them for her iPod. And I watch the YouTube music videos she sends me (well, not all, she sends me a lot!) While I have no idea who’s who in whatever band she is into at any given time, I’ve at least figured out a couple of the boys she crushes after.


BTS – Winners of the 2017 Bill Board Awards

As I bond with her, while she teaches me everything she knows about the K-Pop culture, I have to sit back and smile.

I remember what it was like being her age – I remember becoming “boy-crazy” and crushing after popular band members and teen beat heart throbs. The feeling was new and exciting. And innocent. It was, after all, uncomplicated crushes to be shared with girlfriends who had similar crushes.

This is a stage that is both amusing and adorable at the same time. And I have to admit, some of the songs are quite impressive. I’ve been listening to the ones I’ve downloaded for her while at work. And strange as it sounds, her friends are envious that her mom is into the same music and buying the songs/albums from iTunes for her.

Who would have thought this would bump up my popularity among her friends?

Break-up with Joel

In my previous post, I had linked to a past blog which I can not edit anymore (so it remains private for those not logged in). I’ve copied and pasted this post below:

i sat there waiting in his living room, wondering how i was ever going to make it through the evening.

he glanced over at me uneasily, and asked, “what? is something wrong?”

“no…” i replied, trying to mask any nervousness from seeping through, “i’m fine. everything’s fine.”

“something’s… different.”

“like what?”

“i don’t know… just something.”

i climbed into the passenger side and waited for him to turn on the ignition. with the engine running and the radio on, i felt, at least, we could close the silent gap.

i wanted to speak as little as possible, in fear of giving my secret away.

for tonight was the night that i decided to leave him. it hadn’t been a very long plan in the works. in fact, i had only decided a couple of nights ago. when i found myself announcing it to my friends.

are you sure this is what you want? they asked.

yes. positive.

and i meant it.

dinner was quiet. i sat there, eating my food, hardly making even an ounce of effort to the casualist of conversations. he sat there across from me, avoiding eye contact. and feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

he knew.

we had finished dinner 20 minutes earlier then his mother’s church concert. she was singing in the choir and the last thing i wanted to do was end things before the performance.


he asked me once more, “i know something is wrong so just spill it!”

“okay,” i said, “i don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”

“i knew it.”


and with that, you sat there and accepted what i wanted. without a fight, without any questions, you sat there and found your glum corners of the world.

i knew it. that was what you said. it hadn’t occured to me, now years later, that those three little words meant more then just that night.

you knew for awhile, that you didn’t deserve me. you knew for awhile that the way you treated me was less then par. you were immature, selfish and insecure.

for a long time now, i had regretted not taking the chance to seek the proper closure i deserved. there were many angry nights where i hated myself for wasting so much time with you. i wanted to tell you everything you did wrong. all the malnipulation… all the bullshit i had to put up with!

and then, one day, i woke up. and realized that you’ve known all along.

i was too good for you. and your game on trying to convince me otherwise, had failed.

you once said to me, “you and i both know we’re a good catch!” deep down inside, i didn’t think this. but i didn’t want to hurt your feelings. i didn’t want to tell you how many men had tried to ask me out while we were together… nor how some of my friends expressed that i could do better.

i just want you to know…

i never stomped on your heart.

just your ego.