Dreaming of BTS – The Plot Thickens

The last round of dreams I had of BTS were pretty vanilla. Like even more purer than vanilla. So exactly WHAT the hell is going on with my more recent dreams of BTS??? And in these dreams I’m back to being 27. Okay, I know why this is. One, even my subconscious is protecting me from feeling like a dirty cougar and secondly, this is around the time before I started dating my now husband.

Seriously though, what does that say about me?

Dream #1:

  • I’m at a party – it seems like a fancy, corporate shin-dig (i.e. boring).
  • I see Taehyung at the bar. He sees me, too.
  • He gives me that look. You know… THAT look! And I blame the real Taehyung for embedding that type of look in my mind.
  • Because he knows how to turn that sinful stare on so well that there’s a definite, confusing duality. I have a question to all those who stan Kim Taehyung – how do you handle him?

How does he go from this…

…to this?

  • My one thought, “Stay away from him, stay away from him… it will only end badly unless you stay away from him.
  • Not sure how I knew? Perhaps I already met him before and he was pretty blunt about what he wanted from me? I just knew he was up to no good.
  • I turn around and then bump into Jimin.
  • Jimin is no better, though he’s a gentleman about it (i.e. not as crass but still, I know it will result in the same kind of ending.)
  • He asked me if Taehyung was bothering me – that he would keep me safe.
  • But I didn’t think he was any safer. I knew he was just as dangerous.
  • I didn’t find out – I woke up before the dream went further.
  • I should be thankful of that.

Dream #2:

  • I’m at the AMAs and I see just Jimin walking across this hall leading to the auditorium.
  • I’m a little surprised no one has spotted him – it’s like he’s only visible if it’s BTS as a whole.
  • I couldn’t help but just stare at him. And he turned and caught me staring.
  • Then that thing happens. You know where the guy waves you over and you look behind you to see if it’s maybe some one else he’s motioning to.
  • But it was me. And so, as if in a trance, I slowly walk over to him.
  • He takes my hand to greet me and then next thing I know… *poof!*
  • We’re all of the sudden back in his hotel room and he has me pulled into him in the… oh my god… softest and passionate kiss EVER!
  • You know how you look at Park Jimin’s lips and they’re sometimes like the thickest lips ever? And they seem extra soft?

Damn you, Park Jimin!

  • Yeah well in my dream they felt exactly how they looked.
  • I pulled back and questioned if this was a good idea.
  • He said probably not – his fiancee definitely wouldn’t like this.
  • FIANCEE???
  • Then… again *poof!*
  • I’m on a boat with BTS and we’re about to go scuba diving. I must be with them on one of their Bon Voyage trips.
  • I’m sitting there just staring at Jimin acting all sweet and innocent.
  • I look around at the other members and I think to myself, Do they know? Do they realize he cheated on his fiancee with me? Why am I here? How am I going to get home?

So yeah. That’s about it. I don’t know what’s going on. The only thing I can say is I am going into surgery next week. And until then, I’ve been abstaining from sex. Post-surgery, I also have to abstain from sex. That’s a lot of abstaining for me.

It’s hurting. It’s hurting really bad and these dreams are NOT helping! (I’m not just dreaming of BTS, mind you… but I think of all the other dreams I’ve been having, the ones with BTS are the most shameful!)

I’m so going to hell…


BTS Burn the Stage (no spoilers)


So the long anticipated Burn the Stage documentary is out. We will see footage of not just behind the scenes of BTS’ Wings Tour, but a promise of a more unfiltered version of the group’s life.

I actually wanted to get this out earlier as I contemplated what this all might manifest not just to the fans but to the entire k-pop industry.

I have watched the only several minutes in of the first free episode but stopped and realized it was important for me to begin writing before I went further.

Before the release, and even the trailer, there were so many speculations. Rumors stated we would see a more raw side of the members – we would see arguments, injuries, hardship and even members fainting.

Some fans were concerned – would they be able to handle seeing all the turmoil endured by their idols? Well, that is up to each individual fan. As a parent, I do plan on watching it with my daughter because I’m not sure how she will handle her emotions over all of it.

I thought long and hard about this – I wondered, has this ever been conceived before in the k-pop world? Fans are so accustomed to worshiping idols – they are used to seeing the trained, social side of idols whom work at achieving perfection. And I am not referring to performance perfection, though that is certainly what they are known to train for.

I am talking about how they carry themselves out. They shelter us from seeing their other sides. We mainly see their good side. Their happy sides. They always seem to get along so well in front of the camera.

The concerned side of me wondered if this could go to the reality TV show ways seen mainly here in North America. We definitely do not need another Jersey Shores, for example. It wasn’t that I even thought BTS would stoop to that level, of course, but I was a bit afraid they might be bashed for it.

On the other hand, I saw BTS paving the way by taking such risks. They can, ultimately, really shake things up for the world of k-pop – in a very good way! Because k-pop idols are human beings. They aren’t perfect nor should they be. They do have other sides to them and it’s about time we, as a whole, accept this reality. So long as they still maintain a level of responsibility for their actions, I think we need to see that they aren’t always getting along with one another – and through all their amazing work, they fall and fail like every else can and will at some point in life. Many times in life, actually.

I think about the mental health issues that plague idols. And I think of how hard it must be to have to carry out this ‘perfect image.’

I hope Burn the Stage will ‘rock the boat’ in a very positive way for all idols.

Let them live. Let them breath.

So – I haven’t watched all of it. You be the judge – good idea? Or not?

K-Pop Idols Interacting With One Another and Our Fascination with Being a Witness

As a k-pop fan, one obvious behavior I have been following is our fascination with watching how k-pop idols interact with other k-pop idols outside of their group. It’s not exactly too hard to be a witness to these interactions from a very light-surface level.

YouTube alone has a crazy upload of fan-made clips. Obviously, these are small moments caught on camera, usually at award shows – whether it be a small gesture as a handshake or something more where two idols appear to be engaged in a deep conversation on the side. Everything is not only caught on film but analyzed to death by k-pop fans. Fans will draw their own conclusion of what is going on which I find amusing – because none of us really know what’s going on. None of us have a clue if it’s all for show or for real.

Never-the-less, the fascination-part from fans is interesting to me and made me question why we want these interactions to mean something more than what they probably really are.

For one, I think it’s just very human nature for us to gossip. This nature of ours probably stems from us wanting to belong to the bigger community. Which is a secondary emotion for feeling secure, stemming from our survival instincts (‘greater in numbers’). This is not something that is uncommon across any fan-base of favorite celebrities. And to us, this fantasy-like gossiping feels safer than gossiping about real life people. It’s a way for us to drive our need to gossip at a safe level.

Is it safe, though? I think it could be if we keep it light and off-line. We need to understand we have no idea what is really going on. And if we’re ‘shipping’ idols together and then causing rumors they are dating, this can go viral extremely quickly. I’ve always felt uncomfortable with this phenomenon because once put online, rumors spread rapidly and I believe there’s too much risk of it hurting the idol. Talk among the privacy with friends of ‘what if’ and ‘imagine this’ but keep it off the public platform – that would be the safest bet!

I also think our connection with k-pop idols is more intimate than connections between the usual celebrity to fan-base. I won’t go into this further because I believe that is a whole different discussion. There is a dark side to what I have seen with the vicious cycle created by the k-pop industry for their idols to connect with their fans and for their fans to reciprocate back to the idols.

I will, however, focus on the positive side for now. When this intimate connection is done in a more moderate, balanced and healthier way, I see the fan-base worrying about their idols.

We worry why they fainted. We worry if they are getting enough rest. We worry they are losing too much weight and going on dangerous diets. We worry about their self-esteem. We worry about their level of happiness. We worry they are depressed or lonely or overly stressed and anxious. These are nothing to be ashamed about. Worrying for another human being, regardless of whether we actually know them or not, is never a bad thing. If we do not have compassion in us, we would be fucked on a much global scale.

And so I think we take comfort in seeing them interact with those outside of their own group and company. There’s still a bit of sadness they might not have much of a choice to make/keep friends outside the industry but to see them at least creating friendships at some level is better than nothing.

Variety shows and talk shows often have more than one k-pop idol as guests. It’s no wonder why these shows are so popular – they know what they want. And it gives fans a glimpse of what their idol life is like, especially if a talk show is able to get the idols to discuss and compare similarities of living with their members. The clip about RM and Suho comparing leadership stories on Problematic Men comes to mind (with bonus clip of how Suho nags Sehun like a mom):

As for variety shows, my favorite was watching Jooheon (MONSTA X) and Jackson Wang (GOT7) on Celeb Bros. There were several parts over two separate meet-ups but I’ll embed just the few I think is most significant at showing their budding friendship:

And then sometime later, they meet up again and we get to see a different comfort level between the two. This had me cracking up so bad! They argue like an old married couple! :p

So are these ‘bromance’ all an act or are they real? I don’t know – it’s not easy to say how scripted they are or not.

I do recall during end of MONSTA X-ray Season 1, all members were given 2 hours of free time so long as they went off on their own. Jooheon hopped in a cab and immediately asked to be taken to JYP Studios. On the way there, he was trying to call Jackson Wang.

For their sake, I hope these friendships are real.

BTS MIC Drop Remix – K-Pop Dance Class No. 3

The day came much sooner than expected! Not that I’m complaining. Not that my daughter is complaining. In fact, we were going to go to the 2pm dance class. But when we saw the studio Instagram post MIC Drop Remix for the 1pm beginners k-pop class (i.e. the instructors post the day before or the morning of their scheduled class), I don’t think my daughter would have forgiven me for not signing us up for the earlier one.

I only say this came sooner than expected because I knew eventually, we would have a chance to do a BTS choreography. Whether it was MIC Drop or not (though we were ecstatic to do MIC Drop). I sort of hoped, though, I had a chance to get a bit more practice of k-pop dances in general before trying out BTS. Let’s face it – BTS’ choreography is not easy. And while this was a beginner’s class, even the instructor noted this was going to be a challenging one.

I noticed through past Instagram postings from the dance studio, both BTS and EXO songs seems to be the most popular choreography. I have seen BTS’ Dope, Best of Me, Danger and Just One Day. And also EXO’s The Eve, Ko Ko Bop and Power.  Black Pink is another popular group with Whistle, Playing With Fire and As If It’s Your Last being some of the more current choices.

How did I fare? I think I did alright considering I’m still new to k-pop. By the end of the class, I was able to do most of the sequence (we did it from start of the above tutorial to the “MIC Drop, MIC Drop” part before our hour was up). The end was a bit rushed since we were running out of time so that was where I messed up the most.

One thing the instructors do for beginners is they play the song at a slower speed while we learn the steps. As we all get use to the steps, they pick up the speed until we’re doing it at the actual speed of the song by the end of the class. This instructor must have done it gradually because I didn’t even realize we were going full throttle until class was complete.

Once again it was a lot of fun. And I plan on practicing this one at home. Thankfully, I found the above tutorial to help me through!

My favorite parts:

“Bet it got my haters hella sic…” (YouTube MV link to 1:50)

“MIC Drop… MIC Drop…” (YouTube MV link to 2:11)

Hardest parts:

“Come and follow me follow me with your signs up…” (YouTube MV lin to 1:54) – I actually started to get this part at the end. It’s just that it’s really fast and I needed to loosen up my hips more. Key tip – keeping the movement small makes it easy to keep up with the tempo.

It was also an extremely good workout. We all worked up a pretty good sweat – even the couple of students who are more advanced than the rest. So for those who want a fun way to exercise I recommend learning MIC Drop! Enjoy!

K-Pop Dance Class No. 1 – 24 Hours (Sunmi)

K-Pop Dance Class No. 2 – Rubber Band (iKON)

K-Pop Dance Class No. 2 – iKON Rubber Band


Okay – this class, under a different instructor, was definitely WAY more challenging than our first k-pop class which broke down the choreography for Sunmi’s 24 Hours.

iKON’a Rubber Band is no joke. That part we quickly had to go down on my knee before doing those body rolls? Gonna feel it tomorrow. And there were a lot more body rolls. I had no idea body rolls would take THAT much energy!

It was, however, a LOT of fun! Plus afterwards we all went to this Korean grill house across the street. My husband took the subway with my daughter and I this time. While her and I did our hour dance class, he walked around downtown, meeting back at the studio on the hour of the end of class.

Good music, good exercise and good food. Now, I’m going to go and crash thank you very much.