“Well… the truth is… actually… I’m in love.”

You know that scene from Love Actually? The one where the stepfather is trying to now be THE parent after the son’s mother dies?

And then the next scene we see these together, they have the following dialogue:

DANIEL: We can definitely crack this. Remember, I was a kid once, too. So, come on, it’s someone at school. Right?

SAM: Yup.

DANIEL: And what does she/he, feel about you?

SAM: SHE doesn’t even know my name. And even if she did, she’d despise me. She’s the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she’s heaven.

DANIEL: Good. Good. Well, basically…you’re fucked, aren’t you?

I loved how the father did not make any assumption of his step-son’s sexual orientation. Why would he assume Sam is straight when they have never had this talk before?

Let me tell you something, though. Talking to your kid about crushes and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships is not easy. Not easy at all. And it’s not that, I, as a parent, have problems talking to my 13-year old girl about it. It’s the getting her to open up to me part that’s not easy.

She’s at this age where everything is embarrassing. EVERYTHING! And she’s developed this physical tick in response to most of what I say. Some people call it the ‘eye-rolling syndrome.’ I just call it annoying.

The thing is last night, at the pub where we watched the Toronto Raptors kick ass in the NBA playoffs (see? I told you I like basketball more than hockey), I got to talking about what’s going on in her love life.

And I sort of pulled a Liam Neeson-Love Actually thing. I said, “So last year you liked so and so. What about this year? Do you have a crush on a boy… err… or girl?”

“Mom,” and of course she says this while rolling her eyes.

“What?”

“I’m not… you know.”

“What? Gay?”

“Right.” More eye-rolling.

“Okay – well, I didn’t want to assume! There’s nothing wrong if you are you know?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore…”

I probably screwed up that conversation. In fact, she is probably mortified – and hence will be in debt in the future from all the expensive therapy sessions I will have caused her.

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Easter Weekend 2017 was EPIC!

And I say it was epic because, as usual, we hosted Easter dinner for my family. This year, however, we outdid ourselves.

No. Seriously. I think we raised the bar. There’s no way we will top what we did this year unless we win the jackpot and fly my entire family to Hawaii, first class and hire high-end catering with only the most expensive vintage wine.

Oh yes… followed by a private Polynesian dance performance. And massages on the beach for all!

It’s nice to have her old enough to help now.

The menu consisted of:

Italian Spring Salad – tossed with Bocconcini, Heirloom Tomatoes and Prosciutto

French-cut Marinated and Grilled Lamp Chops

Smoked Rainbow Trout

Roasted Leg of Lamb

Grilled Asparagus

Tri-Colour Sweet Potato and Bacon Casserole

And everything turned out PERFECTLY! Plus, I paired dinner with an amazing Shiraz from Australia. It helped it was 15% alcohol level.

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I love finding boardwalks in the middle of a forest!

To back up, the weekend started off with a 1 hr and 20 min hike. It was semi-challenging due to all the constant up and down climbs. However, very much worth it because, well, as you can see, we needed to start working off our dinner even before we ate our Easter dinner the next night.

Overall, it was a wonderful long weekend!

But what made this year’s Easter shindig of ours was epic was the following conversation:

Dad: When marijuana becomes legal next year, can you get some?

Me: I suppose. Why?

Dad: I want to try it.

Most excellent!

Proudest Moment as a Mother

When I think back to all the times I have been proud of my child, all were pretty much explainable… not being afraid of being separated from me on her first day of pre-school, learning to ride a bike on her own, report card after report card of mostly A’s (usually no more than one B – in French), academic awards, being a natural at the trumpet, finding her love for skiing, showing her compassion and generosity to her friend who gets picked on a lot, etc.

The list goes on.

None of this, however, compares to something which happened this past week.

It was what happened during her Science Fair (or STEM project which they call it now) presentation. Yes – of course I was proud of her project. And her presentation which went pretty smoothly. This time, it was more about how she handled the Q&A session at the end of her presentation. More to the point, how she handled one conceited, egotistical, annoying, know-it-all girl, whom I only needed to spend about 30 seconds with at my daughter’s birthday party this year to sum up my thoughts on her (i.e. “I really do not like this kid”).

My kid’s project was on the human’s short term memory and the studies based on the fact in which humans’ have a harder time remembering (or taking in new information) greater than three, on average. “Average” being the key word.

And yes, the studies have shown that the average can range between three and seven for short term memory. Point is, her project was basing it on the lowest common denominator – which was the number 3. Of which the data she collected when testing human subjects, proved her point.

Anyway – the know-it-all brat of course, had to point out that she read somewhere, that seven was actually recorded as the maximum number of ‘content’ a person can remember at one time.

Of course she had to point that out. She always likes to point out what she knows in any situation where it makes another person feel small.

Rather than getting upset, my kid looked at her and said, firmly, “Yes. So what is your question.”

My husband and I responded, “You said that???”

“Yes,” She said, “She was being annoying.”

“Right on! High five!”

“What?”

“High five, man! She deserved it!”

“I also went back to explain some studies showed it could be up to 7 remembered things… but that my project was based on three.”

“So did she say anything back?”

“No. That made her shut up.”

So this… this is the proudest moment I have ever had in my life as a parent.

I know she was showing a bit of attitude back to this kid. I know, perhaps, she wasn’t  being the kindest, and I’m sure the teachers would disagree with me – they would say that she should have been more diplomatic. But I don’t care. This is real life. And sometimes she needs to put these types of people in their face and to send that message not to mess with her.

Firefighter and wife dialogue

Doug had his first extrication call this past Wednesday. He had to remove two people – one from each vehicle – after they crashed into the side of a Rona store.

I said, “So this was your first excavation?”

He said, “Extrication.”

“What did I say?

“Excavation.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Excavating is more like digging.”

“Well, technically, you sort of had to dig them out of the car wreck.”

“It’s still not the right term.”

“But ‘Extrication’ is hard to say.”

At the end of a long day, this is the best I can offer as far as conversation while getting dinner ready.

Vampires 1: Zombies 0 (wherein this is actually about parenting)

twilight breaking dawn

oh those pesky teenage vampires again…

Awhile back, I mentioned Chaeli’s interest in both the Twilight movies and Twilight books.

Since then, it’s all she asks to watch. Fortunately, as a family, we don’t have that much time for movie nights anymore. We’ve been privileged to spend time outdoors together – all seasons – doing various physical activities. And when we’re stuck at home, there’s just so much to do – including game night and hobbies night. Movie nights are becoming a rarer treat. So when it comes time for crashing in front of the TV, it’s a nice change of pace (plus an excuse to have popcorn).

I also mentioned my plan to withhold the last book, Breaking Dawn, from her until we had more conversations about sex.

Well, just some series of events which lead to my failure as a parent here – these are not excuses, mind you, but they do explain how it all just sort of unraveled on me:

  1. My workplace has gone through tremendous changes, including new ownership; I am still employed but the overtime has been pretty steady.
  2. We went to donate some of our old belongings to Variety Village where Chaeli spotted Breaking Dawn, the hardcover, for only $5.
  3. When we got home, due to being drained from event no. 1, and many other crazy things that have happened to us which I won’t bore you with here, I completely forgot to take the book from her room.

I suppose my greatest fault is no. 3 above. A part of my brain did remember it was there from time to time, but then another part of my brain, the one that’s famous for procrastinating, kept on saying that she was still in the beginning of reading Eclipse, the book before. It will be awhile before she gets to Breaking Dawn.

This reasoning seemed to satisfy the part of my brain that usually is pretty good at taking charge. Until one day, I see my 10 year old walking around carrying the Breaking Dawn book.

With her bookmark sticking out from the middle pages.

This past Saturday was one of the rare moments we had time for a movie. Of course, she asked to watch Twilight. And of course, she asked to watch Breaking Dawn, Part 2, her favourite.

When it got to the scene where Edward and Bella were implied to have a 2nd honeymoon (nothing graphic but it was suggestive that they were making love even though nothing is shown), my kid turns to me and says, “You know in the book? They do this for like a whole day.”

I was stunned. And silent. At least at first. Then I started to laugh as I worked out a semi-audible, “Oh yeah – I forgot about that part of the book” to cover up my real reason for laughing.

Meanwhile, I’m thinking, Oh great. Not only did I fail to discuss with her about sex, I’m now laughing like an immature dweeb.

“Yeah, and the only reason why they stop is because they wanted to check up on their baby. If they didn’t have a kid, they would be doing this for days. Maybe weeks!”

Well, not all is at a loss. Chaeli is not completely ignorant about where babies come from. And she has been introduced to sex but I’m not sure if she understood that what they were doing, was sex. Or if she thinks they just spent an entire day kissing and holding each other. (<- my wishful thinking)

It’s a discussion I’ll be having with her soon. *Sigh*

Why can’t she just like zombies? You don’t have to worry about zombies getting down and dirty. They’re too busy being disgusting as they tear into live, human victims.