You know that scene from Love Actually? The one where the stepfather is trying to now be THE parent after the son’s mother dies?
And then the next scene we see these together, they have the following dialogue:
DANIEL: We can definitely crack this. Remember, I was a kid once, too. So, come on, it’s someone at school. Right?
DANIEL: And what does she/he, feel about you?
SAM: SHE doesn’t even know my name. And even if she did, she’d despise me. She’s the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she’s heaven.
DANIEL: Good. Good. Well, basically…you’re fucked, aren’t you?
I loved how the father did not make any assumption of his step-son’s sexual orientation. Why would he assume Sam is straight when they have never had this talk before?
Let me tell you something, though. Talking to your kid about crushes and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships is not easy. Not easy at all. And it’s not that, I, as a parent, have problems talking to my 13-year old girl about it. It’s the getting her to open up to me part that’s not easy.
She’s at this age where everything is embarrassing. EVERYTHING! And she’s developed this physical tick in response to most of what I say. Some people call it the ‘eye-rolling syndrome.’ I just call it annoying.
The thing is last night, at the pub where we watched the Toronto Raptors kick ass in the NBA playoffs (see? I told you I like basketball more than hockey), I got to talking about what’s going on in her love life.
And I sort of pulled a Liam Neeson-Love Actually thing. I said, “So last year you liked so and so. What about this year? Do you have a crush on a boy… err… or girl?”
“Mom,” and of course she says this while rolling her eyes.
“I’m not… you know.”
“Right.” More eye-rolling.
“Okay – well, I didn’t want to assume! There’s nothing wrong if you are you know?”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore…”
I probably screwed up that conversation. In fact, she is probably mortified – and hence will be in debt in the future from all the expensive therapy sessions I will have caused her.