A Post About My Post Valentines Day

First of all, for those who celebrate Chinese New Year/Lunar New Year… Happy New Year! And to my fellow Mandarin speakers, Gong Xi Fa Cai | 恭喜发财 !

Of course, to my fellow k-pop friends:

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BTS sporting their Korean hanboks!

Now, I mentioned in my last post I wasn’t big on celebrating Valentines. I’m also not big on receiving flowers but I will say yes to dark chocolate because I’ll always say yes to dark chocolate. And I’ll also say yes to strawberries especially if covered with said dark chocolate.

Well, I didn’t receive chocolate covered strawberries. But my husband DID make something for me and it was just as good! Heart-shaped dark chocolate, unsweetened peanut butter cups!

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Yummy in my tummy!

He spent all afternoon making it. Which wasn’t easy as he was so dead tired. He came off of his shift that same morning. Their firetruck was out so many times during his 24 hour shift that by lunch time, he said he had already gone out 12 times. And it just didn’t stop there! He barely got more than 30 minutes sleep at a time overnight (and it the opportunity to sleep didn’t come often).

[SIDE NOTE: Please ensure your fire alarms are clean and working with good batteries – clear as much clutter in your house, too; Simple steps could save your life! Most of his bad calls are due to either causes or a combination.]

So to state I have an amazing husband is an understatement.

And as I took a vacation day on Chinese New Year, him and I met up for lunch at a new farm-to-place restaurant. It wasn’t cheap but it was pretty good. I would go back again to try some different menu options but it’s not easy on the wallet so I would reserve the place for special occasions. What I felt was way over-priced was the wine list. I didn’t see any wine that stood out and most of them were by the bottle. There were a handful by the glass but once again, nothing special. and $10 for just 5 oz? Most place I go to will charge $15-18 by the glass but at least I get 10oz. It was a bit of a let down considering the type of food they served.

My pet peeve for 2018 – pretentious wine lists.

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I’m so unromantic it’s not funny…

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Thanks Kbop-Khop for giving me something fun to post about – yet again. 🙂

I’m actually not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I never was – single or not single. I’ve felt it was one of the most unromantic day of the year because of how commercial it is. But this 10 Valentine’s Day Questions sounds like fun! So let’s go!

1. What is your favorite Valentine’s Day treat?

Dark chocolate. I’m talking 85% or 90% dark chocolate! And really fresh strawberries – organic please. A difficult thing to purchase during winter months here in Canada. But I’d splurge just to sink my teeth in some juicy strawberries!

2. Sweethearts or chocolate covered strawberries?

My answer from question #1 sums it up! Chocolate covered strawberries – but even better if the chocolate has a bit of that bitter dark taste.

3. What was your favorite Valentine’s day memory?

I don’t have any! I have had bad Valentine’s day memories, though. Does that count? The one that comes to mind is a date I had with my 2nd long term relationship boyfriend. He was in such a horrible mood and when we finally got to his place, we found his snobby aunt was visiting (he was still living at home at the time). His aunt barely paid any attention to me and just gabbed away with him – both acting like I wasn’t there. She was just really, really horrible. I just kept on thinking what I waste of time this was for me to be there. The older and more confident me would have just excused myself and left. If I could have turned back time that’s exactly what I would have done. The younger me was foolish enough to hope we were still able to salvage the date. Uh, yeah. I was wrong!

4. What movie would you rather watch on Valentine’s Day: Pretty Woman or You’ve Got Mail?

A tough one as I like both! I think it would totally depend on my mood. If I had to pick one, I would probably gravitate towards Pretty Woman.

5. Which restaurant would you prefer to go to for a Valentine’s Day date?

That’s the one thing I detest most about Valentine’s Day. Here in Toronto, any nice restaurant will have a set menu (3 or 4 course) which is a waste for me as I don’t like the dessert ‘must-order’ part. Also, they seem to cram as many tables in and well, you practically feel like you’re dining with the couples next to you! It’s extremely impersonal and unromantic. Since I met my husband, while we were dating and childless at least, we would stay in and just enjoy a quiet dinner together.

6. What would you do on your perfect Valentine’s date?

If I didn’t have to work during the daytime I would go for a spa pedicure and then to a cafe to drink an afternoon Americano while listening to k-pop.

Evening time? Stay in and avoid the Valentine crowd. And of course, have sex. What? I’m just being honest!

7. Red or pink lips on Valentines Day?

Pink lipstick, please. But I’ve always preferred pink over red lips on myself.

8. What is your ideal Valentine’s Day date outfit?

Since I’d be at home in hiding, nothing special. My yoga pants and a t-shirt – but I would be wearing my pink fuzzy socks.

9. Homemade or store-bought gifts?

Home made – in the sense of having my husband cook me food. Preferably a medium rare steak with great red wine.

10. Would you wear your hair up or hair down for a date night?

Up – It’s about comfort.

So as you can see, I’m pretty boring, yeah? And a bit dirty I guess because I’d want to have sex but honestly that’s not different from most nights. 😉

I think it’s just that I like romance to be that kind of unplanned, small surprises here and there at random moments anytime. Not just on February 14th each year. And I don’t think romantic gestures need to be this grand thing.

I don’t care for flowers either – they die. And then I’d have to clean them up and I’m too lazy to do that so the dead flowers stay in a vase in front of me for a month.

Yup. I’m so unromantic it’s not even funny.

Recognizing Proud Moments

As a parent, as a Chinese parent, I’ve been raised to put a lot of emphasis on academia. It’s in my blood – it’s natural. Even though I was born and raised here in Canada, that part was ingrained into me – albeit I’m a more water-down version of my parents.

And I do put emphases on academia. I have. Quite a bit. To the point where I find myself getting anxious over my daughter’s grades. I realized I needed to chill out a bit, though. While it’s still my job to ensure she is doing well in school (i.e. performing well, not failing, being respectful to peers and teachers, etc.) I also did not want to pass my anxieties on to her. She is becoming her own person and needs to take her own accountability on such matters. It’s a work in progress – I’m not perfect and I slip back to old habits. More than I would like to admit.

There are, as I have discovered many times in my near 14 years of raising her, moments that have nothing to do with academia but still, I find myself in awe with how much she surprises me – and how much she makes me proud.

Over the weekend, her and I were talking. And yes, of course it was about k-pop. And of course it was about her favorite idols. These days it seems most of our conversations start with k-pop though it may end elsewhere only to return to k-pop.

A friend of her at school was saying how she would not be happy if she found out her idol was gay simply because she respects her idol so much, if they are gay, then she would feel let down.

Yeah. Pretty homophobic statement. I am not completely surprised though. It’s a private school and a LOT of the parents are ultra-conservative and not open to accepting different lifestyles than their own. Which makes it difficult for me to make new friends among them. I am the black sheep, after all. I’m THAT parent. Whom doesn’t bat an eye if I find my daughter using curse words (we’ve talked about it – I tell her I don’t mind so long as she is responsible with how she uses curse words). I’m the one that sends her daughter beautiful photos of her bias, Kim Taehyung just to torture her for my amusement. And I’m that parent who wouldn’t care if her child comes out one day to me, stating she is gay or bisexual, etc. I’ve always told her such things do not matter to me or her father so long as she is happy and not hurting herself or anyone else. We’ve always done our best to raise her with a good heart and not to judge others on such things – because what is there to judge?

I’m that parent. In a world where we are increasingly becoming more progressive and open, it’s amazing that in a big city such as Toronto, I’m still finding myself, in such moments, as the minority. Why is that?

Anyway – so my daughter said she had a disagreement with said friend. She tried to reason with her but the disagreement started to escalate so my daughter dropped it. It was in class and she didn’t want to start a heated and loud argument.

So here’s where I can breakdown how proud I felt:

  1. She was confident with her stance.
  2. She tried to reason with her friend.
  3. She did not let her friend, whom she cares for dearly, to sway her beliefs.
  4. When the situation started to escalate, she knew when to bow out and keep the peace.
  5. She came to me and told me about this conversation – not to be praised but just to share with me what happened between her and her friend.

I would like to say I am responsible for her level of maturity. Because even as an adult, I don’t think I could have kept as level headed as she did. That was all her.

Not-So Daily Kpop Challenge – Part VII

[30 Day K-Pop Challenge]

The next two challenges seem fitting to post within one entry – they both have nostalgic themes. Enjoy!

Day 15: A k-pop song that reminds you of someone you miss

BTS’ MIC Drop. I mentioned a friend of ours passed away suddenly in October 2017 at the age of 38. He was a huge hip hop fan. I’m talking traditional, old school hip hop! I wish I had made the time to get him to listen to k-pop. I’m not sure he would have liked it but I know he would have given it a shot because he was just an open person that way.

Day 16: Favorite k-pop lyric (and a translation)

I go through cycles of deep, haunting and playful, when it comes to favorite lyrics. I will admit I’ve always been a fan of BTS’ Blood Sweat & Tears though recently both their songs, Pied Piper and Sea has been on my radar. And when I first looked ahead at the 30-Day K-Pop Challenge and found this question, I was sure I was going to post one of those three lyrics. Now that I’m here, at Day 16, I find myself going back to a more playful and what I would describe as seductive lyrics – and that is EXO’s Playboy.

You know how some lyrics brings you back to a specific memory? That’s what Playboy does for me. Before meeting my now husband, I dated, partied, and yeah, I met a few (at least a few) players. Some played me. Some played me REAL good. And others, I knew, right from the beginning were ones I could only expect a fun time, no strings attached, most likely a one-time thing, and never, ever the type I’d ever bring back home to introduce to my family. EXO’s Playboy reminds me of those times I knew what I was getting myself into. Which was living in the moment and being with someone maybe a little dangerous (to the heart) was just that short and sweet moment I needed. (By the way, watching the below performance makes me miss Lay as part of EXO – I prefer his dance skills over Sehun).

Hey playboy haha (Boy)
(Hi dududu dududu) Let’s play

Don’t pick up your ringing phone
Let’s leave it alone
There’s no need to tell anyone but us two
Let’s just leave it alone, why are you worried?

It’s alright, it’s alright
I know your heart, it’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright
Show me all your secrets

My heart is covered black, your place
Your heart is burnt white, my place
Of course you can’t get sick of this play
(You know what it is?) Play play play
My words are forgotten black, my base
Your words have vanished white, your trace
You can’t turn things around in this play
Play play play

Play (Boy) play play (Boy)
Play play (Boy) play (Boy)
Play (Boy) play

When you think it’s too late, you’ve already
Fallen for me, it’s out of your control (Isn’t it?)
You knew everything from the start
And now you’re blaming it all on me?

I’m far from the bad things
You’ve imagined
From the bad niceness
I’m happy, please don’t run away
Don’t try to leave me

It’s alright, it’s alright
I know your heart, it’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright
Show me all your secrets

My heart is covered black, your place
Your heart is burnt white, my place
Of course you can’t get sick of this play
(You know that?) Play play play
My words are forgotten black, my base
Your words have vanished white, your trace
You can’t turn things around in this play
Play play play (Yeah, playboy)

I’ve decided what to call you
Just one kiss, that’s all
Whether it’s your luck or misfortune
That you’ve met a guy like me
Will be like a split road, yes
Like whiskey you’ve swallowed by mistake
I’ll make you hotter, more excited (Leggo)
I’m bad, I like doing things you tell me not to
Like I said, the main game didn’t even start yet
Push and pull me even more
I’m confident I will win
Every day, I’m dealing with
A new type of loneliness

Oh, I can’t stop
But same for you too
You don’t wanna lose me
(Right?) My babe

My heart is covered black, your place
Your heart is burnt white, my place
Of course you can’t get sick of this play
(You know what it is?) Play play play

My words are forgotten black, my base
Your words have vanished white, your trace
You can’t turn things around in this play
Play play play

Play (Boy) play play (Boy)
Play play (Boy) play (Boy)
Play (Boy) play (Boy)

 

Does he have an aversion to clothes???

C: Oh my God – they took of their shirts!!! Look! THEY TOOK OFF THEIR SHIRTS!!!!!

ME: Yeah – not surprised.

C: What do you mean by that?

ME: Seems like every time I see them in a video or performance, Wonho is shirtless or showing off his abs.

C: So? He’s hot!

ME: But all the time? Does he not like clothes? Does he have an aversion to shirts? I just want to know.

C: Whatever.

ME: No seriously… I’m just curious here. In Dramarama, the story line has some kind of time traveling thing, right?

C: Right.

ME: And they’re running away from these bad guys who are trying to track them down… and perhaps trying to reverse that awful car accident, correct?

C: Yeah – I guess.

ME: And then all of the sudden, there’s Wonho. In the shower. Showing a LOT of skin. As well as being very wet, I might add.

C: So?

ME: Well, what does that have to do with the story? What’s the point? It’s so random!

C: The point is… Kpop idols need to shower. They have very busy schedules but they are still human and it’s normal for them to clean themselves.

ME: …

C: …

ME: Wow. Seriously?

C: Shh. I’m trying to watch Wonho.

My off-spring, folks.