Dreaming of BTS – No seriously, I’ve had dreams of BTS!

I’m not TRYING to dream about BTS but they have appeared in my dream at least twice. Maybe even a third time but the last one was so hazy I’m not sure. I do know each one involved just one member. And here is a very simple description of each:

Dream #1: Jin

I walk into the kitchen and Jin is sitting there at the table. He starts to yell at me Jin-style like he does when he’s being Angry Jin. No, I don’t know what I did wrong. No, I have no idea what he’s saying to me because it’s all in Korean. I did read another blogger stating she had a dream of BTS and luckily for her, there were sub-titles floating in front/below each member as they talked to her. Much like many Youtube videos us non-Korean speaking fans have become dependent on. I had no such luck. And the dream ended shortly after me just standing there, bewildered at why he was yelling at me.

I think I should have been more concerned with why Worldwide Handsome, Kim Seokjin, was sitting in my kitchen. And exactly how did he get in in the first place?

Dream #2: Jungkook

My phone had been buzzing with message notifications all day. I was really busy though, so I ignored them. Then I got a call from a very angry Jungkook who demanded to know why I wasn’t responding to any of his texts. I’m not at all sure where this one came from – there was this one Youtube video of their People Magazine interview where Jungkook got a bit of heat from his hyungs for never responding to any of the texts they sent him.

Other than that, I have no idea why Jungkook would be texting me. And exactly what was so important I had to drop everything just to respond to him? Strange dream indeed.

Dream #3: Suga

I think I had a dream of Suga last night but it was pretty broken up and short for me to fully remember what was going on.

All I remember is Suga just being really disappointed in me. What did I do wrong? What did I do to make him feel like I am a let down? I have no idea. He wasn’t angry at me, but he was just shaking his head. I mean, it IS Suga – he appears to be the one that used to keep the young ones in line so at least in my dream, he was in character.

In Summary

I clearly have some anxiety issues of letting people down. Why BTS are the ones playing into my subconscious mind is beyond me. I know my daughter thinks I’m lucky to dream about them.

Really? All they’re doing is acting mad at me! Why would she want to dream about that?

I had to get that off my chest. I’m so stressed with the amount of work I have to do this week I needed to post something fun and light.

And I’m known to have extremely strange dreams – I have all my life so to be honest, I’m not surprised with the above dreams.

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I’m not an A.R.M.Y… Am I???

BTSconcert

C: You’re so an ARMY.

ME: No. I don’t think so.

C: Yes you are. Just admit it!

ME: Really, really not!

C: But you love BTS!

ME: True, I really do, but I just don’t see myself as an ARMY.

C: Why not?

ME: I don’t like the chant. I support it if it supports BTS but I personally do not enjoy it. I don’t own those light-bulb things… nor would I buy you one unless we’re at a BTS concert. Speaking of BTS concerts, I’m not sure I’d go unless it’s to take you. Concerts are just not my thing. The only way I support them is legit-purchases of their digital tracks, digital albums and well, the full L.O.V.E. Love Yourself album set. And that was for you!

C: So? You don’t need to do all those things to be an A.R.M.Y. If you like them truly for their talents and accept them for who they are, faults and all, you can totally be an ARMY!

ME: …

C: And by the way, it’s called an ARMY Bomb light stick…

Could my daughter, who is often found in moments of true maturity, even more than myself, be correct?

Lets back up for a moment…

I honestly never classified myself as an ARMY. And believe me, I am not against BTS’ fandom. I’ve just never ‘belonged’ to any fandom group before. Rather, I’ve been going along for the ride, supporting ARMY but not really being a part of it.

So it got me thinking, “What does it mean to be a BTS ARMY?”

I’m aware of the negative side. I’m aware of the fan-wars between ARMY and EXO-L, for example (as well as other k-pop fan groups). I’m aware of those who claim to be ARMY but only act out in hurtful and spiteful ways – whether to other ARMY members, other k-pop fandom members, themselves, or even BTS members should one or more member do something they feel isn’t right (as if they feel BTS members owe them something – for example, see past dating rumors of how these fanatical fans have reacted).

Is this negative side what made me think I’m not an ARMY? I thought about this. And my final answer is… No.

There will always be a dark side to everything – any type of subculture formed, even with the intent of the greater good, has a dark side. And I think it’s important to actually see these negative people as NOT a true ARMY. Yes, I’ll just go out and say it. The ones who are disrespectful and create division rather than coming together as a positive group and movement, should not classify themselves as true ARMY. I won’t list all the past examples – I did go out to do a bit of research and was quite disgusted with some of the incidences associated with said, negative fans. I felt the hurt BTS members must have felt during those times.

Begin the hate for anyone who may stumble upon my blog and disagree with me. But I stand strongly with this belief and I do not limit this to k-pop fandom.

So where does that leave me? Why do I not see myself as an ARMY (yet)? Maybe because it’s my age? Maybe I’m just not use to this type of fandom? Perhaps I’m just happy calling myself a fan who loves BTS’ music and supports their hard work and creativity? I don’t know. I don’t have an answer. Maybe in time I will call myself an ARMY.

I do know this… whatever label I may or may not feel comfortable with, I am thankful of great wonderful ARMY folks who I have befriended here. And I’m thankful BTS strives to put out good work and share their talents with us. I hope all seven of them are happy and wish them all the best! As long as they strive to do what they love and continue to be both human yet respectful as they have been, I don’t see why I wouldn’t support each individual member equally. Hwaiting!

It’s Official – I’ve Lost My Mind

Oh. My. GOD!!!

So I just emailed this private dance studio not far from my work place. I’ve been searching for hip-hop classes for my daughter and I’ve found a lot of these private dance studios that not only do hip-hop but dabble in k-pop hip-hop.

The only challenge was finding most places create ‘teams’ for actual amateur dance competitions.

Heeeell NO!!! So not what she is looking for! She just wants to do this for fun.

This studio has a drop-in class schedule with classes ranging from Level 0 to Level 2. Obviously, Level 0 meant for beginners. Though I have an inkling it’s not going to be filled with beginners. As always, you’re going to find a class filled with a variety of levels depending how long people have been dropping in on said class. Still, you can either pay as you go ($15 per class) or buy 12, 24, 48 classes per card, thereby saving more money in the end. I’m sure there’s a time limit. For example, all 12 classes must be taken within a 6 month period. It’s still promising though – there’s at least 2 or 3 beginner classes each week to choose from. And it allows some flexibility with our schedule.

It peaked my curiosity, alright? And you know what they say. Curiosity killed the Cat.

I’m not saying I’m going to die. But my body is not like what it used to be so. So yeah. I’ve decided I’m going to do this with my daughter.

I’m both excited and nervous. More excited than nervous. I mean, if history should repeat itself, I’ve often been able to catch on with new choreography. The nervousness is just based on the fact I have not taken any dance classes for so long. The last time I did was to learn Latin Ballroom.

Of course, I’ll update my progress here but – wish me luck! My daughter will not have time to do this until after her science project is done and she really wants us to do this together! I think it will be fun. 🙂

Recognizing Proud Moments

As a parent, as a Chinese parent, I’ve been raised to put a lot of emphasis on academia. It’s in my blood – it’s natural. Even though I was born and raised here in Canada, that part was ingrained into me – albeit I’m a more water-down version of my parents.

And I do put emphases on academia. I have. Quite a bit. To the point where I find myself getting anxious over my daughter’s grades. I realized I needed to chill out a bit, though. While it’s still my job to ensure she is doing well in school (i.e. performing well, not failing, being respectful to peers and teachers, etc.) I also did not want to pass my anxieties on to her. She is becoming her own person and needs to take her own accountability on such matters. It’s a work in progress – I’m not perfect and I slip back to old habits. More than I would like to admit.

There are, as I have discovered many times in my near 14 years of raising her, moments that have nothing to do with academia but still, I find myself in awe with how much she surprises me – and how much she makes me proud.

Over the weekend, her and I were talking. And yes, of course it was about k-pop. And of course it was about her favorite idols. These days it seems most of our conversations start with k-pop though it may end elsewhere only to return to k-pop.

A friend of her at school was saying how she would not be happy if she found out her idol was gay simply because she respects her idol so much, if they are gay, then she would feel let down.

Yeah. Pretty homophobic statement. I am not completely surprised though. It’s a private school and a LOT of the parents are ultra-conservative and not open to accepting different lifestyles than their own. Which makes it difficult for me to make new friends among them. I am the black sheep, after all. I’m THAT parent. Whom doesn’t bat an eye if I find my daughter using curse words (we’ve talked about it – I tell her I don’t mind so long as she is responsible with how she uses curse words). I’m the one that sends her daughter beautiful photos of her bias, Kim Taehyung just to torture her for my amusement. And I’m that parent who wouldn’t care if her child comes out one day to me, stating she is gay or bisexual, etc. I’ve always told her such things do not matter to me or her father so long as she is happy and not hurting herself or anyone else. We’ve always done our best to raise her with a good heart and not to judge others on such things – because what is there to judge?

I’m that parent. In a world where we are increasingly becoming more progressive and open, it’s amazing that in a big city such as Toronto, I’m still finding myself, in such moments, as the minority. Why is that?

Anyway – so my daughter said she had a disagreement with said friend. She tried to reason with her but the disagreement started to escalate so my daughter dropped it. It was in class and she didn’t want to start a heated and loud argument.

So here’s where I can breakdown how proud I felt:

  1. She was confident with her stance.
  2. She tried to reason with her friend.
  3. She did not let her friend, whom she cares for dearly, to sway her beliefs.
  4. When the situation started to escalate, she knew when to bow out and keep the peace.
  5. She came to me and told me about this conversation – not to be praised but just to share with me what happened between her and her friend.

I would like to say I am responsible for her level of maturity. Because even as an adult, I don’t think I could have kept as level headed as she did. That was all her.

Better Than Coffee

My daughter looked extra sleepy today as we stood waiting for our Starbucks order.

So I showed her this…

She nearly started to cry. But hey… at least it woke her up! 🙂

And might I say, Mr. Kim Taehyung is quite the flirt!

Some one please stop him… like, now.