I say this is a mundane post because that’s what my life has been like these past few weeks – mundane.
Free time has been spent cleaning, sorting and chucking. Work time has been spent… well, working. And some free time has also been spent working. So much to the point where I found myself emailing back and forth with a co-worker from Miami at 10pm on a Thursday night. It’s okay – albeit it was regarding a project we’re working on together, he’s a cool guy. So I like helping him. I like helping the ones who deserve the help. Even those who do not deserve help, I do end up helping them for the good of the company.
Why the fuck do I care so much about this God-damn company???
Anyway… The good news is that in between all this has been filled with moments of other mundane yet pleasurably mundane things like hikes, drinking prosecco or cava or really good red wine, reading for pleasure (The Lovely Bones) and chewing on a really good thick piece of medium rare steak.
The cleaning, sorting and chucking has been quite an ordeal. We’re making progress but every time I devote some time to this, I realize how much we have to do. How much more we have to go before I am satisfied with our living space. And while my husband has so much more time between his shifts, it’s become evidently and painfully true in that he can not do this alone. He will look at something, study it, think about it, and rather that put it in either the garbage bag, recycle box or donation box, he will redistribute it back to another area of storage. It might be a better place of storage, and it’s now been clean of dust, but the point is, will we ever need it?
That’s his problem. He is unable to let things go and while I love this man with all my heart, I have had moments of panic were I question what I have married myself into. For, I am the complete opposite of my husband. I will take a look at something and make what I call an executive decision where I ask myself two questions:
- When did I last use this?
- Do I see myself using this?
If both answers are “not for a very long time” I make a fast decision to get rid of it. And I answer myself very honestly.
For example, we came upon a pair of large feathers. I am going to guess they are geese feathers (from the plethora of Canadian Geese we are surrounded by year after year). He takes them and moves it from one shelf to another. And I stop him and ask him why he is keeping a pair of feathers. His response? Some feathers need to be kept.
Why must some feathers need to be kept? For what purpose? While I do not remember exactly how we acquired this pair of feathers I can guarantee my parents had something to do with it while babysitting Chaeli. They found the feathers and thought Chaeli would like them. Which she probably did. When she was two.
*Sigh* So it’s been a tough battle… and I wonder if I should just do it all myself. And let my husband be the one to haul the bags to the bins or to the thrift store or donation centre of some sort. And to shred the personal documents we no longer need. Because this is why our office is unusable. Since he went onto shift work (as a firefighter), he’s so much more home then I am during the week. And he’s spent the last several year “organizing” the office. Each time I look at it, though, it’s just moving piles around and not at all close to being organized.
I am, therefore, the bad person. Because I want to stay home during our vacation to clean and sort while he wants to go skiing.
It’s been somewhat a tough battle. He’s been grumpier. And I am trying to lighten his mood. But you see, people like me, who suffers from anxiety like I do, really needs to live and work in an organized space. I am more productive when my living and working space is clean. I can not cram myself in a corner in the office, which looks like a hoarder’s paradise (I’m not kidding as it is the one room I turned a blind eye and let him do what he wanted to do with it – I regret that now).
Pray for us – that our marriage is strong enough to survive this!