I must admit, even though this past weekend had very little downtime, it was so much fun!
It got me thinking – you know how you are looking forward to something and there is a tendency to build it up in your head? Like a new person you are dating that you put up on a pedestal in your mind to the point where there’s no way that person could ever live up to your high standards? Or when they came out with Episode I, II and III after decades of the last Star Wars episodes and you’re totally psyched to watch it opening night. Yet what crap did we get from it? Jar Jar Binx!!! I’m still scarred from the whole experience.
Leading up to this past weekend I was looking forward to everything we planned on doing, especially the get-together we had with two separate groups of friends. I started to get a little anxious, though. Was I building it up to be too good to be true in my head?
Friday night, we met the two other couple at The Crow’s Nest. I was psyched for this evening. First of all, it was Friday night. We normally stay home Friday nights and for the most part we are happy with being home bodies. But sometimes, it is nice to go out for drinks with friends after a crazy work week (and what work week isn’t crazy?) I’m becoming more and more aware we are not in our 20’s. Still, we’re also just in our 40’s and isn’t the 40’s the new 30’s? Are we not a little too young to stay home EVERY Friday night? It was an excuse we used when Chaeli was little but what is our excuse now? Secondly, I had wanted to introduce Doug to one of the husband’s for a very long time. Finally, while I knew both couples separately (and they know each other), it was the first time we were getting together as a group. The potential for a good time was considerably high.
Many things could have gone wrong, socially that is. Doug might have not liked husband from couple A (or vice versa). The group dynamic might have weakened if all were together. A drunken man might have come up to me in the end and not let me leave.
Oh wait – that did happen. Luckily, the drunken man’s more sober friend, pulled him away and guided him safely to a cab. He was trying to tell me I was pretty – I think. I don’t know. It was difficult to understand him since he was slurring his speech and talking in half-sentences. I don’t, by the way, take this as a compliment and I say this knowing people will tell me to take it as a compliment. The truth is, he was drunk. Drunk people do not think or see clearly. Through really blurred vision maybe I did look smashing! More to my point, I was afraid he was going to throw up on me. I know stuff like that generally happens in the movies but with my luck, it’s not completely improbable.
Anyway – it went well. Very well. All had a good time and like I predicted, Doug got along with his now new acquaintance.
The whole evening made me think, though. As we get older, it’s not easy making new friends. Maybe it is for some. My best friends, Ada and Hoa, seem to constantly make new friends. It might be because they get out there and do a lot of active stuff. People who are that active have high energy. People who have high energy have energy to meet people and make an effort.
Still, after talking to Ada and Hoa, we came to the conclusion – new friendships can not be forced. There’s still a natural path that needs to take place. It still has to feel somewhat effortless. The only effort is getting oneself out there to meet new people but after that, it’s either a friendship that will happen or it won’t.
This then got me thinking of all the past acquaintances I have met since my 20’s – there are still a handful I remember of wonderful people I just seemed to hit it off with. And through no fault of either parties, we never stayed in touch. There are some regrets on my part – I have found myself, once in awhile, wondering how they are, what they are up to, what they are doing in life. Shameful, but I can’t even recall their name (maybe just their first). I remember them though. Their face, a conversation, where we were… Perhaps this is a lesson in life. It’s not a bad thing to keep ourselves open and available for a connection.
In such a big and fast world with so many people around us, it can get quite lonely if we do not make these connections. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with the friends I have – I speak both in quantity and in quality. It’s just that once in awhile, I wonder if I’m holding myself back from a pretty damn cool friendship waiting to happen.