pre-boarding jitters, post-therapy therapy and lunar new year


it never fails – as we pack our gear, dry clothes and dinner (the food at the ski resorts is both really unhealthy and extremely expensive), i always get that mixed feeling.

there’s this nervousness that transpires to, i sort of just want to skip it and stay home and i know once i’m on the slope, i’ll feel so alive – and i’ll be in such a good mood coming home.

the nervousness is always there, though. doug says it’s just because i’m not comfortable with boarding yet. i’m a slow learned, true, but i’m also not getting enough mileage. which is why he’s urging for all of us to go on a ski/board trip where i can get that mileage all in a couple of days. apparently, that’s what’s lacking.

i had my 2nd therapy session yesterday with my pscyhologist. she says that i’ve done remarkably well since the first session. i definitely did feel more together this time – no tears came spilling out which was 75% of what took place in my first session. there was one point where i felt a little emotional, but it was all good.

once again, i realized how much i have to work on myself. it’s going to be a long road but i’m hopeful it will workout in the end.

the biggest thing, since the last time i saw her, i only thought about suicide once. which is pretty huge since considering prior to seeing her at all, i was thinking about it not only everyday, but up to a dozen times a day for weeks on end – months, actually.

after our session, which takes place in this old, sad little mall (how businesses there stay afloat i have no idea), i went to this dive of a nail salon place below on the ground level. i noticed the last time i was there, it was only $12 for a regular manicure. a cheap price even by this type of standard place. though it still can’t beat lucy nails.

[i will have to hook up with B for a mani-pedi at lucy nails again – probably near the end of winter to get some spring-inspiring colours painted on my nails]

sure, the girl doing my nails spent half of her time checking her iphone and using the  speaker to get in touch with some service people to come to her house and then in touch with her husband to tell him when they are arriving (this is when i wanted to ask her, “if your husband is home, why can’t he make the call?” it wasn’t because her doing this was annoying me – i just can’t stand that type of husband) but she did a bang-up job! real attention to detail and a great finishing look. better yet, like lucy nails, they have these ultra-violet stations with fans… the only way to dry a manicure. i’m tired of places that use just a tiny fan. that’s really not enough, people.

i also splurged and got a $5 lavendar sea shell exfoliating massage. the dryness of this winter plus the meds i am taking is creating more maintenance to get rid of that dead skin.

this morning, i also went to see a chiropodist who has a lot of experience with diabetics. she examined my feet to assess them and then gave me tips on maintenance and precautions to avoid any complications. i had a couple of stubborn calluses removed which i would have done myself, but my diabetes team referred me to her. everything is different now. the risk of injuring myself can cause complications so i’m now handing myself, including my feet, over to professionals.

i was happy, however, to learn that i can go for pedicures as long as i give the people instructions for safety. and to just ensure that everything is disinfected in front of me. while maintaining my feet daily is fine, it’s nice to know that i can go for some pampering, too!

yesterday, we went to my aunt and uncle’s place for our chinese new year dinner. my aunt made a delicious feast. but for whatever reason, my favourite part of the night (which wasn’t the glass of red wine i let myself have as a treat), was munching away on some kumquats for dessert – with coffee.

i don’t know why. i had been recently craving for kumquats. when i arrived and saw a bowl full of them, it was like some one had answered my prayers!


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