it’s not always easy – it surely does require a lot of work. and lord knows, there are quirks my husband has that drives me insane. and i won’t ignore the fact that this works both ways.
when he doesn’t think i see him, i do – those rolling of his eyes.
the thing is, i love being married. let me just clarify, to get it out of the way, any misunderstandings of what this statement of mine means. it certainly does not mean that i love being married for the sake of being in a marriage. it is not a status thing – or a fear of being single.
quite frankly, being single was quite easy. yes, some loneliness came wth it but the freedom was very good to me.
so it is quite obvious that i love being married because of the man i married. everything i am about to write only exists because i found my soul mate and found the one i can’t imagine life, now that he is my life, without.
now that i’ve gotten that out of the way, i will also admit that i wasn’t always at this stage. there have been moments, years, sometimes, where i wasn’t sure if marriage was altogether right for me. perhaps there were the rocky years where both my husband and i were trying to understand how to make marriage work the best way possible. there were a lot of frustrations – though we never stopped loving each other – of which i won’t bore you with the details mainly because these were subject matters not alien to most arguments in a marriage. and in no way at all do i want this post to translate into some petty rant.
i’m glad, now, after over ten years of our marital unity, that those doubts are now in the distant past. some of those frustrations still do surface but they are easily now seen as just part of who we are – each other’s quirks and personality traits.
i am at a place in our relationship where i truly just love being married to my husband. nothing has happened, really. no significant changes have occurred. just time, growing together and the realization of what marriage is about as we continue to learn about this union and what makes it tick.
there are moments, days even, where i’m so surprised with how much i love being married, it sometimes catches me off guard.
the moment can come at any time. sometimes, while i’m picking out apples in the produce section. or even as i’m doing a simple task and walking from one room to another in our house. i could be busy getting lunch ready for the next day, catch his face while he completely has no idea that i’m staring at him (usually because his attention is drawn to a hockey game or other show on tv) and am just overcome with love for this man sitting in front of me.
if you were to ask me how i came to this realization, i don’t think i could really say. it’s almost as if it just happened which i know isn’t true. but that’s what it feels like. that in a blink of the eye, i just came to this place where i am now.
just like that.
this feeling i have for this married life – it’s not glamorous. sometimes, it’s really just the small, mundane things about marriage that fills me with exhileration and happiness. sometimes, it can just be something as boring as preparing a salad in the kitchen while he’s working away, cooking dinner over the stove. and just knowing he is there doing this unexciting task of what we do pretty much everyday, fills me with peace and content.