yes, i judge other parents

i really do try not to be one of those parents – the kind that judges other parents.

but i am guilty of it. i would like to think, though, that i’m only judgmental during extreme cases. who knows, maybe it is still something i need to work on.

here’s one example:

our neighbours have a 1 1/2 year old boy. very cute – we call him ‘little buddha’ since we don’t know what his name is. the issue we have of their parenting style mainly affects our night time routine. mainly, chaeli is in bed by 9pm. but their little one is still tearing up the house around then. i don’t know what they do but i can hear him banging around, running around the room and sometimes on the stairs.

anywhere between 11pm and 1am (sometimes later), i assume they try to get him to sleep. but the little buddha will hear nothing of it. and that’s when the screaming happens. not crying, i’m talking about full-pitch, high volume screaming! and it goes on for awhile.

my issue? when they try to get him to go to sleep, he is beyond tired. we don’t hear him tearing around the house earlier in the day – just around the time we’re trying to get chaeli to bed. hopefully, she’s getting use to it but i get a little annoyed when we’re trying to do the right thing with our kid’s sleep schedule, only to be interrupted by our neighbour’s poor sleep schedule for their kid.

i imagine they let him burn off energy right before bed but obviously, it doesn’t work. it just wounds him up and adds to the extra-crankiness already building in him.

i suppose i’m also scientific about it too. not just through experience but i do agree with many of the child experts on sleep. regardless of what side of the camp you might fall under (ferber or sears), there is one thing that seems to resonate across all of them: kids need to go down early because they will naturally get up early. kids at that age need about 13 hours of sleep.

personally, anything past 8pm is too late for that age. most recommend 7pm to be a good target though i understand with our lifestyles these days, that is not always possible. hell, i’m sure i should be aiming at 8-8:30pm with chaeli but with homework and the after work rush, we’ve had a difficult time trying to do that. at least 9pm is not unreasonable.

and besides, i would like to be asleep by midnight rather than lying in bed, awake, listening to all that screaming (for anyone who has enough experience with kids, it’s like that full, witching-hour kind of ‘I’M JUST SO BLOODY TIRED‘ type meltdown).

just to add, it’s not all selfishness that’s causing this rant, here. whenever i hear that kid scream, a part of me is also feeling sorry for him. i’ve often said to doug, “poor little buddha – he’s just so tired!”

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “yes, i judge other parents

  1. ah, sleep.. Another hot debate when it comes to parents. We did Ferber on Connor and we’re so glad we did. We lucked out with Aria. She was a good sleeper from the beginning. Both kids are in bed by 8:30 and we’re happy that they get along in the same room. I just don’t understand parents who let their kids sleep with them until they’re 5 or 6. Don’t they want privacy? Anyway, I agree with you. Kids do need their sleep and a routine, especially when they start going to school or preschool.

    • i don’t get the whole co-sleeping thing, either. i know it does not work for me. i guess in some cultures, it’s the norm. i think it depends on the parents’ lifestyle. but i personally think they better be careful if they make that co-sleeping choice. and both parents need to commit – not just one. it’s not healthy, otherwise, for the marriage. and they will probably need to take more responsibility in teaching the children independence through other ways for balance.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s