it’s been a little challenging for me these past few days. not because i have to watch my eating habits. it’s because my doctor told me to continue with my normal eating routine. i’m not suppose to change anything because he wants an accurate reading for my diabetes glucose test.
seriously? does he know me but at all?
if i’m going to accept his diagnosis that he’s 99.99999% sure i’m diabetic, i’m not one to just sit around and do nothing. of course i would have loved to finish off all my fries with the chicken breast wrap i had yesterday at the village idiot pub (the fries was given to me by the new waiter by accident – i had asked to sub the fires with the side, mixed green salad but he just heard salad and gave me an order of the appetizer size; he was nice to not charge me for the salad, though).
it wasn’t even fries that i wanted but there they were… sitting there all crispy and steamy right from the deep frier. still, i had about a serving size (sadly, that’s about 10-15 fries) and let doug take whatever he wanted – he had a big salad so it wasy okay (he is trying to eat healthy with me for both support and because he knows he needs to lose weight, too).
my doctor’s voice came into my mind and said, “it’s okay – i want you to eat normally as you have been.” i just couldn’t do it though. i knew i not only had the green light but this was an instruction. by my doctor for crying out loud! but all i can see now, are these poisonous x-like marks on these no-no food. i just can’t ignore it and the idea of eating them sort of freaks me out a bit.
i’ve been trying to compromise – eating somewhere in between how i would normally eat and opting for more healthier options. the thing is, this isn’t completely unlike me. up until my physical, i was sort of letting myself indulge (not binging – just a little more freely than usual) but i always follow-up with said indulgence with healthy eating. and i do this not because i feel guilty but my body tells me it needs better nourishment – and so i listen.
anyway – if i know i’m going out to eat and may not have as much choices, i’m going to be careful during the day. for example, last night. when you eat out with family at a chinese restaurant, the parental unit does the ordering and since they do not know i am diabetic yet, it’s difficult for me to make too many requests for vegetable dishes. and what do you know, 3 dishes last night were fried meat and one was even sweet and sour pork. plus peking duck which i love but is so high in saturated fat.
for dessert, i watched my family eat a chocolate caramel cake while i nibbled on grapes and almonds with my very unsweetened coffee (note to self: carry a couple of sweet ‘n lows from now on). they were a bit baffled that i was passing up chocolate cake but my excuse was that i was trying to be good since we’re coming up to thanksgiving dinner and our caribbean cruise. they bought it – it wasn’t a real lie, just not the full truth.
i wish i could test my own blood now but have to wait until after my next blood test.