but at least this one isn’t about usher like the previous two. at the same time, i didn’t actually partake in the act of cheating – as usual.
this all goes back to the wedding we went to in june. my doctor’s daughter, the youngest of the two, got married to her long-time boyfriend. at this wedding, i met one of my doctor’s nephews. he was, i am going to guess, mid to late 20’s. and he had the funkiest, fashionable hairstyle – all together he was very stylish.
and charming. maybe too charming. like, the kind of charming that would have had me as bait when i was in my 20’s. the exact kind of charming doug would be guarding chaeli from if she was an adolescent being charmed by this type of charming.
don’t get me wrong, he was very nice and very well mannered. but it’s just that type of charming one can not fully trust.
he was an interesting character to meet but i did not spend time with him. and i haven’t thought about him at all…
until my latest dream.
in this dream, we were back at the wedding and guess what? yes, mr. charming was present. and he was doing to me exactly what i imagine he does with many women.
nothing happened, as i mentioned already. but what i remember from the dream was how much attention he was paying to me. he was flirty, for sure. and the whole time, i just laughed thinking he was way too young for me. and that didn’t he know i was there with doug?
anyway, this dream happened sometime last week. but the days following this dream, it kept on coming back to me. his face kept on coming back to me – especially that smile. you know, the kind of playful smile that wants to take you to a back storage room for some… well… you know.
then it dawned on me. i liked that he paid attention to me in my dream. i couldn’t care less about him – but i enjoyed the flirtation.
horror suddenly struck from my core. is this what it means to be 40? oh my god – am i going to be one of those middle-aged women who check out young boys wearing tight clothes and shiny smiles? if i were singe… would i be a cougar?