random confessions no. 5

okay, okay… i caved. i’m sucked right into the thick of 50 shades of grey.

i’m mortified, ashamed and embarrassed to admit that i’m reading it. i have no qualms about reading any type of erotica. but i had trashed this book before and now that i’m reading it, it totally and utterly deserves some trashing.

but i’m still drawn to it – like mentioned before with the twilight series, there’s this ‘i need to know what happens next’ pull.

as far as the writing, i would prefer an amateur writer to just write – without trying so hard. it would have been less noticeable that she’s a horrible writer if she didn’t add those really out-of-ordinairy words out of the blue to a style that is on the more casual side.

anyway, without giving away the storyline, i’ll commence a list of irritating parts of the book:

  • E. L. James, please just say ‘envision’. who says ‘envisages’ anyway? it doesn’t even flow. especially with your writing style (or lack of). it annoys me to death because she uses ‘envisages’ several times – never the word ‘envisions’. the repetitiveness makes it too evident that she is trying too hard.
  • the characters mutter what they say. a lot. i often wonder how they even hear what the other one is saying with all the muttering. there are dialogues upon dialogues where they are described to be muttering a statement or response. it’s a book full of muttering dialogues.
  • i would like to shoot anastasia’s inner goddess. or at least give her inner goddess a vallum. she’s a bit of a spaz.
  • anastasia is often thinking the words ‘oh my’. all throughout the book, i see oh my.Β  yes. like that. italicized. everywhere.
  • if they are going to be emailing each other back and forth like they do (pretty much in every chapter), why the hell have they not signed on with skype? or at least get onto gtalk or some other type of instant chat system.

what disturbs me the most… women around the globe are apparently in love with this fictional christian grey character. i think i would be ok that these women are just getting all kinked out with the hot fantasy-like sex. or just needing to know what will happen to these two’s disturbed and ‘effed up relationship.

it just makes me a little sick to my stomach when i think back (before reading 50 shades of grey) how these women fully admit, “i wish I could meet my own christian grey!”

really? but he’s beyond just controlling. his behaviour extends outside the bedroom and takes over parts of the relationship that does not equate to trust and respect.

the sex scenes were not disturbing to me. they were, actually, a little boring (it’s very repetitive and personally, not at all a turn on – the romantic bits where it was just plan vanilla sex – as they called it – was somewhat hot, though). it was what happened outside their fantasy-role play.

i’m not at all sure why anyone would want that in a relationship.


6 thoughts on “random confessions no. 5

  1. It makes sense that you can compare this book/series to “Twilight,” because it started as a Twilight fan-fic.

    I haven’t read “50 Shades of Grey,” and am not sure I’m going to, but heard someone else say that the sex scenes are almost clinical, in their description. Would you agree with that assessment? And if not, what was boring about the sex scenes to you? (Just curious.)

    • good question! i will first start by admitting that i’m not at all an expert in how to write a good sex scene – or even an expert in what makes a sex scene (at least on paper) POP!!! no pun intended. πŸ˜‰

      the sex scenes in 50 shades of grey were sometimes a little on the ‘clinical’ side. but i don’t think that’s what did it for me (or didn’t do it for me, really). i think personally, i’m just not a big fan of S&M. but then again, i think back to Anne Rice when she wrote her Sleeping Beauty Trilogy under the name of A. N. Roquelaure. there were a lot of things done in that book that just isn’t for me – and yet her description did make me… well… lets say it got my attention. πŸ™‚ it was definitely much more creative and while i still had trouble with the dominator (asshole-like quality even more so than Christian Grey), the writing definitely took the reader on a journey. i think the talen and skills of anne rice’s ability to bring the reader into the surrounding environment alone was a key to drawing the reader in towards all these climatic conclusions. pun totally intended this time. simply put, to this day, there are still scenes i can invision from the sleeping beauty trilogy.

      and those books were read over 10 years ago.

      the sex scenes were also repetitive in 50 shades. i’m close to the end – i assumed at the least, the writer would bring the reader along the journey of the main female chracter’s own journey of sexual discovery. especially into the world of christian grey – who you are lead to believe has a LOT to teach anastasia. however, nearing the end of the book, i have yet to see that much change in their sexual ritual.

      perhaps i’m more perversed in my mind than i realized – but by now, i would have definitely come up with WAY more scenerios!

      yeesh. i scare myself.

      • Interesting. I can definitely understand what you mean – interesting that so many women have been so into this book, when it sounds like the writing is terrible & the sex scenes are boring.

        Also, don’t feel bad – I think most of us are more perverse than we would like to admit. πŸ˜‰

  2. I actually downloaded a sample of the book a while ago, out of curiosity. The sample ended before any of the erotic content entered and didn’t stir me enough to order the whole book, yet. Thanks to your post, I think I’ll pass on the trilogy. πŸ˜‰

    • i should point out that one scene did do it for me. but it was such a simple scene. no sex at all. it was their first kiss. very hot. after that, the whole thing went flat for me.

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