mommy – why are those two boys kissing?

i’ve always thought of myself as one of those parents that would raise her daughter to grow up with tolerance. and to fight discrimination.

(which should be interesting – because given the reactions of my SIL and BIL upon seeing two men hold hands at a park when they came a couple of years ago, i’m not at all sure how they are going to bring up my niece and nephew. because as their aunt, i would be really tempted to teach them the right way of tolerance.)

so the other day, we were watching will smith’s hitch flick when smith’s character, hitch, asks his client to show him how he will be doing the whole ‘end of the date first kiss’ move. the client took it somewhat too literally and planted one on hitch’s mouth.

it was at that exact point where chaeli gives a big, “EWWW! TWO BOYS KISSING??? THAT’S GROSS!!!”

i was surprised and shocked. but why should i be? we haven’t discussed same-sex relationships. at all. and it’s not that i have been avoiding it. i just didn’t think i would bring it up until the questions started to come out.

and while i totally get that the ew-reaction is quite normal for kids her age, i suppose it was wishful thinking on my part that one day she would just come home, put her backpack on the table and say, “mom… we need to talk. some one told me today that canada allows same-sex marriages. what’s that all about? i thought men could only marry women. and women could only marry men. i’m confused and i need you to set the record straight.”

okay – so i know it wouldn’t have played out exactly like that. but the reaction she gave made me feel like i had failed to stop THAT way of thinking before it started taking over the way she thought on the matter. i know, i know… not the end of the world here. but i can’t help but to wonder that if i had started this talk earlier, it would have made things easier.

so now i’m looking into some literature out there – good books for kids – to read to her.

not easy. there’s a slew of books out there about sex education but i haven’t found ones specifically dedicated to same-sex relationships. other then one book that discusses sex education and grazes over the topic of sexual orientation.

but there’s got to be something – even a children’s fictional book called something to the likes of ‘i love my two mommies/daddies.’

anyway, i can’t wait to find something good. and then tell my in-laws about it. *big grin*

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8 thoughts on “mommy – why are those two boys kissing?

  1. You know- this strikes a chord with me……since my brother and brother in law are gay…and my kids have just been around Uncle Junkii and Uncle Rockr since they were born and that they just accept that…..but not long ago, the 2 boys were talking to each other about getting married…Jake said he wanted to marry Ella and Josh said he wanted to Marry Jackson….and Jake said “You have to marry a GIRL!” and Josh said “What about Uncle Rockr and Uncle Junkii” and Jake said “Oh yea” and that was it……but even though they are tolerant of that and been around that and accept that, Im still not sure what they would do if they saw them kissing….because I know the go all “EWWWWWWWWW” when Johnny and I kiss……so I know Im not helping here- I have no good books and I cant just suggest borrowing my brother for a bit (although Im sure he’d be happy to help) but I am saying that your reaction to things says alot…..because you don t say “oh- 2 men shouldn’t marry thats wrong” then she will learn that its fine for anyone to fall in love and be happy…..and over time, when you see that stuff more and more, she will get better and better…..anyways- not much help, but just wanted you to know that I sympathize with you…..BTW- I do have alot of friends in TO that are gay if you need a hook up- (just kidding).

    • hey – you are plenty helpful here! and i do wish i could borrow your brother for the day. 🙂

      i went to amazon and found a total of two books for her age group. TWO! how sad is that? i’ll give them a chance though – they have them at the library as well.

  2. When in doubt, just answer all adult questions by changing the subject .
    “I dunno. Want some ice cream?”

    Okay, maybe I’m not prepared to be a parent, but maybe you’re over-prepared.

    • funny – i have areas in parenting where i’m way too relaxed but then specific areas in which i’m specifically focused about. this is one of them.

      the ice cream offer works on most adults i know, too.

  3. I have a few gay cousins, and while none of them live here, my kids have met some of them, and see photos of others on facebook, etc, including one couple that had a baby last year.

    M came home from school a couple of years ago all shocked: “Mommy, do you know WHAT??!? (Girl in her class) says that girls can’t get married to girls and boys can’t get married to boys! I told her she’s wrong, but she doesn’t believe me!! Oh well, I guess she’ll learn one day when she’s older.”

    I know it’s too young for Chaeli, but there’s this AMAZING book I read to my kids every day when they were little. It’s called “Everywhere Babies” by Susan Myers and Marla Frazee, and depicts families of all kinds, including same-sex parents, in the illustrations. Not to mention breastfeeding, and babywearing. The world needs more books like this.

    • i totaly took for granted that the whole same-sex topic was old news. honestly – to my mind, i’m like, ‘so what? love is love!’

      not having direct exposure to real-life examples for chaeli wasn’t something i gave much thought. until now.

      you’re very lucky to have people in your lives that are diverse for your kids to know and/or grow up with.

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