i did something today in my professional career in which i'm not proud of. the president of the company had me in his office and asked me for my honest opinion about a peer – one whom i certainly like very much both personally and professionally.
now, he doesn't work for our company but was hired to navigate a special event which required some media attention. still, i've been working with him for the past month and have come to really respect this person.
the truth? he did a great job bringing attention to our event.
the problem? he didn't do as he was told by the president of our company. and so when i was asked if he brought value to our company, i had to think in terms of the plans and value that the president was looking for. and the answer was, then, no – he brought the opposite value of what the company was seeking at the moment.
i felt horrible. i walked out of his office, grabbed my purse and headed down the long floor – looking for escape as i planned a break way from the office so i could get a coffee.
my manager met me halfway and with one look on my face, could easily read that i was out of sorts. so we made a detour to his office and i explained everything to him.
anyway – he ended up driving me to starbucks, treating me to coffee. we had a long talk about it. he told me not to feel bad – that the best thing i was able to do in such circumstances was be honest.
still – i have an awful feeling in the pitt of my stomach.
isn't this bad karma? isn't this exactly what i have been trying to avoid? is this the type of person i want to be?
i feel cowardly – not being able to stand up for this peer.