in the past, i ranted about my previous manager making me edit her manuscript that she was going to turn in to harlequin. it was an awful read. and no, i never finished it. i basically told her that it was too hard for me to do and gave it back to her. at that point, i didn't care that she was my manager. i got the sense that she wouldn't be at the company for much longer (and i was right – she was gone 10 months later).
i always told doug that i would never trust her as a friend. that if she behaved the way she did at work to her other friends, who would trust her? i got the sense that she was just horrible at being there for anyone but herself.
she was just an all-around selfish person. and she only needed people to serve a purpose for her. once you didn't serve any purpose for her, you would hardly hear from her. in fact, to her – out of sight, out of mind.
of course, this wasn't easy for me to be objective about. since i mainly only knew her at work. and sometimes, people can be a lot different in their different roles in life – something i don't agree with. my personal philosophy is to try and be true in all areas of life and not to have different images, as one will easily lose sight of their true and real self. plus, images are like lies – they catch up on you and backfire.
recently, she got a job in sales. up until then, she hardly emailed me or replied back to me. now, all of the sudden, not only is she replying back to me right away, but there's a sales-hitch with the email.
i find it tactless.
i also recently found out through a common friend (who is connected with the circle my ex-manager use to be tight with) that my ex-manager is, indeed, a horrible friend. she lost all her old friends – especially her best friend whom she hurt. what happened was that her ex-best friend lost her mother. and instead of going to the funeral or at least contacting her then best friend, she did nothing. not even a card.
i find this horrible. anytime any of my friends has had a loss in their family, i always reach out to them. and when possible, i go to the funeral to show my support. it is not something i feel that i have to do. it is something that i want to do. and i know they would do the same for me.
and so, after all these years, i suppose my judgement was not far off at all.