a rant just to get something off my chest…

some people just HAVE to be heard or seen. i mean, even when they are just standing there, it's like their need to be noticed is just oozing out of their pores.

there's such a person i know that is like that – he'll stand there while i'm reading on my break and i can sense his neediness almost vibrating out of him.

i use to talk to him – big mistake. this was the same guy that gave me 'advice' on my photography (advice i never asked for and to be quite frank, didn't agree with). and the only reason why i bothered talking to him in the first place was because he was the only one that i could talk to about books, politics and more indepth subject matter.

as i said – big mistake. because i soon learned that he didn't want to talk. he just wanted to be heard. and while there are a slew of people out there, i'll admit, that are better at listening as a form of participation, that's just so not me.

i'll listen. in fact, i work at being a good listener. i'm not perfect. i'm not even great. but i try to be sensitive when listening, knowing that when the roles are reversed, i would like the person's pretty good and undivided attention (within reason of course) so i try to give this type of attention back.

but… if i never get to talk. or when i do talk, i'm either ignored or completely cut-off and interrupted by the receiving end, then i get frustrated and bored.

anyway… so there are times when i'm reading, that he hovers close by. and when i don't respond more then a 'hello', he walks to a nearby table and sips his mug of hot water/tea.

i had no idea that such an act of solitude and what should be a quiet activity can be so damn loud!

first of all, he picks his mug up every 5 to 10 seconds. and when he puts it down, it's with a loud *clang*. he then takes a sip. and it's not just a normal sip. it's like a *SSSSSSSIIIIIIIP!!!!* and then he loudly puts his mug down on the table again. he repeats this process for the entire break – up to 15 minutes.

it annoys the hell out of me. i mean, if you're going to take a sip within 5 seconds of each other, do you HAVE to put it down so often just to pick it back up again?

it's strange to say this, but he's a lazy man. and i think sometimes, a known characteristic of a person can be shown in the smallest actions that they perform. i know… to most, picking up and putting down a mug so often is actually more work. but you have to know him. it's like… he needs to rest after the smallest effort of physical or mental activity.

and there lies why such a small act of his annoys me. it simply like a symbolic representation of the greater traits of his that i do not like. 

i've also learned to put my book down on the table while reading. because if he can see the cover or spine, he will read it and then want to talk to me about it. not because he's interested at all in what i'm reading, but because then he can talk about what he's reading.

at least he's finally stopped asking me, "have you taken any pictures lately?"

i've had to lie to him, "nope. no time and no interest these days."

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6 thoughts on “a rant just to get something off my chest…

  1. I feel your pain on this one. I know a few people at my work and in my own family like this. It amazes how deep the need is to be acknowledged and heard. Sad really? Can you take your break elsewhere to avoid him?

  2. when the weather gets warmer, i can go outside. he won't ever go there. it can be 100 degrees and he'll stilll be wearing a cardigan, complaining that he is cold. 🙂 the thermostat use to be open for anyone to tinker with and on many days, i would find it turned up to the 80's in the midst of a heat wave. others have alluded that it was him.
    during our long winter months, though, there is only one place to take a break – the cafeteria. i could break at my own desk but you know how it is. i don't really get a break then because people assume that just because you're at your desk during break time must mean that you're open to working through your break.
    i'm sorry you have family members like this. i think that is even harder to escape.

  3. Oh my, can I ever relate!! I feel your pain. I have a neighbor…first the phone would ring….if I did not answer, my cell would ring…did not answer that…guess what….a knock on the door!! One day, I was having a good chat with my oldest son, which was rare back then. When I saw her coming up to the door, I jumped onto the floor to hide. My son looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Then, I look over at the side window, and her young daughter is standing on top of our air-conditioner unit, looking in the window, at me, on the floor. OH MY. I can just hear her saying, "Why was Mrs. Smith on the floor, Mom??" LOL. I finally had to tell her to stop but it did not help. Finally, she got a full time job and got too busy to stalk me. But you don't have that luxury. I suppose you could hide under your desk but he would find you, no doubt!

  4. man – i can't believe your neighbour would do that to you! but it's funny that you found yourself ducking to the floor. 🙂
    okay – if you have time to read a long but entertaining post, you should catch up on my 'jack russell family' scenerio. they stalked and clinged to us as well:
    the above link is the very first post introducing this family and why they were coined the jack russell family.
    other posts can be found through 'the jack russell family' tag.

  5. I can't help but laugh that this is the same guy who critiqued your photos. This totally explains his actions and remarks. I completely understand what you mean about the mug issue being a characteristic of laziness. Because of nosy co-workers, I also developed the habit of hiding the cover of the book I was reading. I don't understand why people think it's OK to have a conversation while someone is trying to read — pretty rude in my opinion.some people just HAVE to be heard or seen. i mean, even when they are
    just standing there, it's like their need to be noticed is just oozing
    out of their pores.That's my father!!!

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