to delete or not to delete facebook?

it's almost silly but i figure i might as put it down here…

i was an advid user of facebook. and for the past couple of months, it dawned on me that facebook was a reminder why i find myself so lonely at time.

this cursory lifestyle just isn't my thing. i love to write but i feel confined in trying to reach out to my friends and family through a maximum of so many characters. i realized that relationships that were more one and one was starting to be replaced by these 'status updates'. and it just made me feel lonelier.

ironic, isn't it? social media was a way to speed up our connection with one another. it was a way to create bigger and limitless networks. and yet, the opposite is how i feel… i don't feel connected. at all. the familiar faces and names in my feeds – they all seem to be just icons. not real. at the end of the day, i would say they are even just one massive identity – all these contacts rolled up into one.

i know a lot of people do not feel the same way i feel. and i'm not bashing facebook. there's pro's to it, of course. but… for me, personally, the cons out-weigh the pros. all i can say is that while ada has moved across the country, i am so glad she is not a facebook or twitter user. i'm sure there will be times when we won't email each other for several weeks but that's so much better then the impersonal connection through status updates. i will take that nice, personal email even if it comes every month or two. any day.

i miss the long emails. i mean, snail mail is already becoming a lost art, but at least emails, not counting the endless forwards some people seem to only send, allowed a more personal approach. i'm actually even thinking of getting back to sending out snail mails. perhaps it won't be often but once a year (other then christmas time) would be nice.

i don't do well with making phone calls. for one, at the end of the weekday, i'm done talking. and when i do have time to call where i can make sure it's uniterrupted, it's usually very late.

plus, sometimes i feel facebook and other social media to be like another form of high school. and the popularity list. as pathetic as it sounds, i feel so lonely when i see all my other friends get their status update commented on and 'liked' while my updates are rarely touched as much as others.

so, a couple of nights ago, i decided to take a break from facebook. i deleted it from my bookmarks (as well as twitter – though i hardly used twitter anymore anyway).

i don't know if i'll delete my facebook account. i'm not sure yet. all i can say is that it hasn't been even two days and my mind feels clearer. so for the time being, i'm just going to experiment with this much needed break.

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10 thoughts on “to delete or not to delete facebook?

  1. Ah, I hear what you are saying and I understand your sentiment as well. I enjoy Vox much more because I can write more and be honest, and we seem to be real here. On facebook, I keep on my mask…my kids are on there….and their friends..and parents….and teachers…So, I check facebook but not near as often as I used to. Yes, it can make us feel lonelier. I agree with you on that too. I have a few friends on there that I do care about and that makes it worth stopping by to check. But the time I used to put into it now goes to Vox. I find my friendships here are deeper and more meaningful. I also am not a phone person….would much rather write. You can make your facebook "inactive" for a time, without deleting it, if you want to do that while you decide.

  2. i hear ya. i have the same feelings at times too. what i've caught myself doing is blocking people that are just nosy and don't leave comments as i do on their pages. sounds so high school but to each his own right? { hugs }

  3. shy, i didn't know you were on fb? i thought you hatedit and only had it to have it there?? do whatever worksfor you. i use it mainly to network and stay updated onpeople i otherwise wouldnt keep in touch with so is too busy for everyone.i don't spend THAT much time on it. and i still makea point to see my friends in person, which means so muchmore. i don't know 800 of the people that are my friendsanyway. ha! as i said, mainly my author networking stuff.

  4. I'm a receptionist so I barely use the phone at all outside of work. I love old fashioned letter writing and try send letters, cards or postcards to old friends through out the year (in some ways it is easier because they are all in Australia so it seems more normal). I like email; I hate fwd joke emails; I like Vox; I don't think I would like Face Book.

  5. i signed up but hardly used it for a year. then i started to use it again because of cousins and friends. totally a mistake. so unless i can come to terms with using it occassionally, i'll probably suspend it. it's a love/hate relationship. 🙂

  6. I totally understand where you are coming from. I can see how superficial personal interaction can be on Facebook, Twitter, and the like, where short comments and status updates rule over long emails and blog posts. I don't think I could give up Facebook because that's where I get to speak and listen to my friends the most. I have such a hard time keeping in touch with friends and family beyond the internet (that is, in real life) due to their busy schedules and distance that I need to take what I can get. I really enjoyed our time together on Facebook, especially when playing Facebook games. I will miss you on Facebook, but that just means I have more reason to visit Vox and write you emails (BTW, I'm glad I have your email address). :)I suggest simply leaving your account unattended so that if or when you decide to return you can do so at your leisure, or just to play Country Story and Zoo World. In that respect, Facebook would be more of a game website than a social outlet. One of my Canadian cousins suspended her account for a few months then reactivated it once she realized Facebook was the easiest and only way to keep in touch with some people, like me, who live so far away. She only logs in once a month or so to give some snippet of news. However, I understand if you are not comfortable with this suggestion since, as you stated, you approach it as all or nothing. Whatever you decide, I will support your decision. *hugs*

  7. thanks! i will definitely just treat this as a break now, and then decide if i want to leave it completely or try to use it occassionally like your friend does.

  8. I totally agree with Susan. Facebook is great for games, and just ok for communication. Yeah, I've migrated to Facebook for the most part, but since I am more stream of thought more than sit down write a long post, it works for me. And if I want to write longer posts… I cheat and still find a way to post on facebook (which I am completely addicted to games on, which is why I am there so much).

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