it's almost silly but i figure i might as put it down here…
i was an advid user of facebook. and for the past couple of months, it dawned on me that facebook was a reminder why i find myself so lonely at time.
this cursory lifestyle just isn't my thing. i love to write but i feel confined in trying to reach out to my friends and family through a maximum of so many characters. i realized that relationships that were more one and one was starting to be replaced by these 'status updates'. and it just made me feel lonelier.
ironic, isn't it? social media was a way to speed up our connection with one another. it was a way to create bigger and limitless networks. and yet, the opposite is how i feel… i don't feel connected. at all. the familiar faces and names in my feeds – they all seem to be just icons. not real. at the end of the day, i would say they are even just one massive identity – all these contacts rolled up into one.
i know a lot of people do not feel the same way i feel. and i'm not bashing facebook. there's pro's to it, of course. but… for me, personally, the cons out-weigh the pros. all i can say is that while ada has moved across the country, i am so glad she is not a facebook or twitter user. i'm sure there will be times when we won't email each other for several weeks but that's so much better then the impersonal connection through status updates. i will take that nice, personal email even if it comes every month or two. any day.
i miss the long emails. i mean, snail mail is already becoming a lost art, but at least emails, not counting the endless forwards some people seem to only send, allowed a more personal approach. i'm actually even thinking of getting back to sending out snail mails. perhaps it won't be often but once a year (other then christmas time) would be nice.
i don't do well with making phone calls. for one, at the end of the weekday, i'm done talking. and when i do have time to call where i can make sure it's uniterrupted, it's usually very late.
plus, sometimes i feel facebook and other social media to be like another form of high school. and the popularity list. as pathetic as it sounds, i feel so lonely when i see all my other friends get their status update commented on and 'liked' while my updates are rarely touched as much as others.
so, a couple of nights ago, i decided to take a break from facebook. i deleted it from my bookmarks (as well as twitter – though i hardly used twitter anymore anyway).
i don't know if i'll delete my facebook account. i'm not sure yet. all i can say is that it hasn't been even two days and my mind feels clearer. so for the time being, i'm just going to experiment with this much needed break.