Question: Now that you're a mom, what things are you better at?
i'm better at not taking things for granted.
now, i'm definitely no where perfect from this. but as a mother, i've become so much more sensitive about global issues and tragedies that are happening every single day of our lives… sometimes across the world and other times right in our own community.
when the asia tsunami situation back in 2004 tore so many families appart, i sat there, night after night, reading up on the internet all the details i could find. i had a couple of online friends that lived in bangkok – their blogs kept us posted with real-life situations as all of them volunteered either by actually going down to the island and assist at the relief centres, or manning the phones in bangkok for donations and such.
one friend even took photos of a board which housed hundreds of photos on each board – each photo was a picture a deceased victim with a number. surviving family members would go and try to find their loved ones – of course, hoping that they wouldn't see their loved one's photo staring back at them.
some of the bodies retrieved were already in a decaying state. but worse of all, it was easy to see that some of the victims were children. and babies even.
my friend said that the stench of the rotting bodies was unbearable but worse off… seeing the suffering of those that survived, mourning for their loved ones was by far worse. he saw parents who had lost their children. he saw children who lost their parents.
everytime i read another tradgic situation it was as if my whole body was lurching with suffering.
i remember wanting to go and be by my friend's side to help him. and yet at the same time, chaeli wasn't even a year old. as much as i wanted to help these poor families, i also realized how much i was needed at home.
it was a horrible realization… that i've now brought into this world a young and innocent, little human being of which i can not always protect such human suffering from her. the horrible part was that i wanted to protect her from it all – but knew that i would never be able to do that. with every great love comes deep sorrow and that's what i felt at that moment.
i also started, however, to realize that i can not allow myself such despair over things i can not control.
from then on, i tried really hard to work at taking less for granted. it's taken a long time for me to get to where i am now. and now is no where near where i want to be in regards to finding that balance in life.
so… come weekends, for example, i'll make more time for family time. even if it means that i have to wake up earlier then i need to just so i can get the house cleaning out of the way earlier in order to allow myself more quality time with both doug and chaeli for the rest of the day. or instead of driving up to the mailbox to get my mail on the way home from work, i'll park the car and then take a stroll over with chaeli. on days that are nice, i make more effort to do something outside where we can be near grass, trees and flowers.
whatever it takes, even with the smallest of things… it's just about trying to be consciously aware to not take things for granted.