ugh. she’s back.
it’s been three years since she’s been back at my gym but yeah… she still remembers me.
i was working out on one of the cardio machines the other day and she took one of the same ones two down from me. thank god she didn’t plant herself right beside me.
i wasn’t sure if it was her or not. it’s hard, actually, not to miss her. but like i said, i haven’t seen her for 3 years so i didn’t completely trust my memory.
and if it weren’t for the fact that she would turn to stare at me, just like before, at least 7 or 8 times, i would have assumed it was just some one else that resembled her.
in the change room, i undressed and wrapped my towel around me as i made my way for a quick rinse. as i turned, i heard, “you’ve lost a lot of weight.”
i didn’t have to turn around to know it was her. all doubt of whether or not eddie-the-stalker was back went out the window right there and then. i was so desperate not to have to talk to her that i actually looked around hoping the comment was made to anyone else there. but the fellow gym-goers just smiled back at me as if to say, “yes… she’s talking to you. and congrats – some one noticed you’ve lost weight. isn’t that nice?”
and i so wanted to say back to them, “oh my god please help me i don’t want to talk to this lady!”
so i mumbled a thank-you and made like i was in a rush. in my mind, i was also thinking, yes. i know you’ve noticed i’ve lost weight. you used this tactic 3 years ago when you last tried to befriend me.
eddie then proceeded to ask the exact same questions as she did the very first time she tried to talk to me. like before, she wanted to know my secret. she wanted to know what else i did, if i used weight watchers.
she wanted to know if it was just coming to the gym that worked for me.
i felt like saying, “well for starters, i come to the gym CONSISTENTLY rather than every 3 years!” but no. i don’t want her to come to the gym consistently.
so i said something to deflate any hopes that she can even begin to do what i do and said, “nope. i workout at home. military-style training. really hard. this is just to pass time.”
i heard her say, “oh” as i was turning to go, sounding disappointed.
i have to admit, since toronto’s winters have been more on the mild side (compared to what i remember as a child thanks to global warming), i’ve become a bit of a wimp with all the snow fall lately.
doug, however, has been encouraging us to embrace winter by getting out more and doing more winter activities. we think it will also help with my anxiety and depression which magnifies during the colder months.
the snow shoeing idea was a good investment. but skiing and snow boarding is another important activity we want to try and squeeze in.
this past saturday was our first ski/board day with chaeli. doug and i were prepared for the worst. chaeli is not the most athletic kid so we braced ourselves for posible whining, crying and frustrations.
she surprised the both of us. the kid got bit by the skiing bug within the first hour! we only went to a small hill just outside our city so it was a great place for beginners. but the beginner hill was steep enough to some momentum going.
after a short break, chaeli was begging to get back out there again. and then at the end of the day, she was asking when we can do it all again. by the end of the afternoon, she was going down without doug. and i have never seen doug as proud and as happy about chaeli’s accomplishments as he showed it that day.
as for me, well… i’m 40. and have not been back on the board since 10 years ago (or maybe more). i was a mess at the beginning. after 3 hours, i improved more since my first, first-time… but there’s much more room for improvement. my body is sore but i’m not giving up. i have no real joy to ever get to those black diamond runs, but if i can make it down a blue trail as my best achievement, i’ll be happy with that.
i’m being real here. because i may be 50 by that time.
okay, okay… i caved. i’m sucked right into the thick of 50 shades of grey.
i’m mortified, ashamed and embarrassed to admit that i’m reading it. i have no qualms about reading any type of erotica. but i had trashed this book before and now that i’m reading it, it totally and utterly deserves some trashing.
but i’m still drawn to it – like mentioned before with the twilight series, there’s this ‘i need to know what happens next’ pull.
as far as the writing, i would prefer an amateur writer to just write – without trying so hard. it would have been less noticeable that she’s a horrible writer if she didn’t add those really out-of-ordinairy words out of the blue to a style that is on the more casual side.
anyway, without giving away the storyline, i’ll commence a list of irritating parts of the book:
- E. L. James, please just say ‘envision’. who says ‘envisages’ anyway? it doesn’t even flow. especially with your writing style (or lack of). it annoys me to death because she uses ‘envisages’ several times – never the word ‘envisions’. the repetitiveness makes it too evident that she is trying too hard.
- the characters mutter what they say. a lot. i often wonder how they even hear what the other one is saying with all the muttering. there are dialogues upon dialogues where they are described to be muttering a statement or response. it’s a book full of muttering dialogues.
- i would like to shoot anastasia’s inner goddess. or at least give her inner goddess a vallum. she’s a bit of a spaz.
- anastasia is often thinking the words ‘oh my’. all throughout the book, i see oh my. yes. like that. italicized. everywhere.
- if they are going to be emailing each other back and forth like they do (pretty much in every chapter), why the hell have they not signed on with skype? or at least get onto gtalk or some other type of instant chat system.
what disturbs me the most… women around the globe are apparently in love with this fictional christian grey character. i think i would be ok that these women are just getting all kinked out with the hot fantasy-like sex. or just needing to know what will happen to these two’s disturbed and ‘effed up relationship.
it just makes me a little sick to my stomach when i think back (before reading 50 shades of grey) how these women fully admit, “i wish I could meet my own christian grey!”
really? but he’s beyond just controlling. his behaviour extends outside the bedroom and takes over parts of the relationship that does not equate to trust and respect.
the sex scenes were not disturbing to me. they were, actually, a little boring (it’s very repetitive and personally, not at all a turn on – the romantic bits where it was just plan vanilla sex – as they called it – was somewhat hot, though). it was what happened outside their fantasy-role play.
i’m not at all sure why anyone would want that in a relationship.
we’re back from our vacation! and therefore, hopefully, ends my 2 weeks haitus.
not that it was a planned haitus, but the week leading up to our trip to disney world was not onlyy chaotic due to all the packing and planning… but i had a pretty bad and stressful week at work. that week began with ten lay-offs… three of them from my team alone.
i had the unfortunate task of being involved with these three layoffs since i was their team lead. not something i ever want to do again. having said that, i reminded myself that no matter how terrible it was for me to lead them to the meeting room, sit in on one of them, and then having to escort them out, it was 5 times worse for them. the shock, anger, fear, hurt and sadness was all elevated because they were on the otherside of the wall.
the “why me?” side.
i can not even begin to mask how bad i felt for them.
anyway – there’s more to write. about these lay-offs, as there are things i feel i need to get off mychest, and these past several days we spent under the warm sun.
but today, i have the lovely pleasure of doing 4 or 5 loads of laundry. and only 3 hours now to finish all the unpacking and organizing before my parents come over. fun times!
finally… happy lunar new year to all those who celebrate it!
a note about making a perfect downward dog more perfect. and a rant about how gym classes schedule different types of yoga classes without a description as to what type of yoga is about to be practices (i was not a happy camper yesterday)… read more.
but guilty pleasures should always be about the truth. and this is as true as it gets. i love them. as gross as they are, i just love them…
yes, i did this for the past decade at the end of 2010. and i doubt this will be an annual thing. but i figure, why not add to the list?
some may be a repeat – either because they are still there (and everywhere) or they’ve just done more things to annoy me this past year.
i actually wasn’t too sure about rihanna. i will admit that i like most of her music. but she was just on the over-rated side of everything this past year. and what bugs me is that, while she can be such a beautiful, sophisticated woman, she ruins it by going the sleazy and raunchy way. like… really raunchy. there’s sexy. and then there’s just dirty. rihanna’s past two years have been just that.dirty.
9. kayne west and kim kardashian
i know – that’s two people i’m rhyming off here. and they probably deserve a spot on their very own (kayne would be higher on the list than kim, though). there’s a purpose to including them on the list as a couple – they are even more annoying this way. the only thing good about the two of them being together is that they aren’t off being together with some one else, making it two annoying couples over just one.
8. donald trump
he might have gone below my radar. except when he tried to pull that obama, secret divorce paper scandal. grow up, donald. you’ve got too much time on your hands. i must admit, i’ll never get tired of his funny facial expressions – entertaining at the least.
7. one direction
i could give each of the five boy-band members their own spot but to be honest, i really don’t know who’s who and couldn’t care less. they are pretty much all the same to me. there is one that annoys me the most – it’s the one with the stupid hair cut. i don’t think i need to look-up his name. you know which one i’m talking about.
6. katy perry
yes, a repeat from my previous list but unfortunately, she’s still popular enough to still be in the limelight and therefore, annoying the crap out of me. it doesn’t help that i can’t stand her music. or her freakishy big eyes.
5. carly rae jepsen
move over katy perry – it’s your cutsy little would-be sister, carly rae! yay, everyone! look who’s here! it’s carly rae! she’s so nice and so sweet and thank you carly rae for being the reason why the summer of 2012 playlist SUCKED because EVERYONE EVERYWHERE played that one song over and over and over again! ugh. please let ‘call me maybe’ die with 2012′s false predictions of the mayan calendar.
i’ve never understood the whole jersey shore thing and i probably never will. wait, scratch that, i probably never WANT to understand. just looking at snooki makes me cringe. smutt-in-the-making. and as some one who is top heavy, let me just say this. there’s good cleavage. and then there’s bad cleavage. snooki is an example of the latter.
3. ann coulter
she’s about the most moronic person in the media. there should be some sort of… hazard label placed over that woman’s mouth.
2. nicki minaj
i’m not a mariah carey fan but nicki minaj made me want to marry mariah after that whole show down on american idol! even without all that hoopla, i’m just not a fan of nicki. it’s not just my distaste for her music but her unoriginality to be unoriginal makes her, well, very original. sorry nicki – FAIL!
1. honey boo boo and mother, june shannon
all i could say when i heard about this reality tv phenomenom was WTF???
i must have started a blog post half a dozen times over the weekend.
each time was the same. my intentions were to just do an out-pour of emotions over everyone who suffered from the friday morning tragedy in newtown, conneticut.
i wanted to show my support and how truly, deeply sorry i was for all those that suffered that horrible friday morning.
but each time, i deleted my post. whatever i wrote down, in the end, just sounded too selfish. after all, it was, in the end, to let myself spill it all out – vent, rant, shed my own emotions.
as a parent, it’s really hard not to. because we can’t help but to imagine what if it was something that happened to our children. we can’t help but to wonder how our own kids could be at risk.
the reality is out there. every september, when chaeli starts her new school year, we are reminded that they do a lock-down drill along with a fire evacuation drill. the fire evacuation, i can stomach. the lock-down? i still can’t. not because i don’t believe they should do it. it’s because i believe in it very much, that it is extremely necessary, is what makes me nauseous.
so i can’t help, each year, to imagine my baby, practicing how to huddle in the corner of her classroom until the police arrives and the ‘bad guy’ has been stopped and taken away. i can’t help but to imagine my child participating in something that symbolizes the type of world we live in today.
and so today, i have decided to post my thoughts – not just my sorrow of such a horrific act of violence and the grim reality of those parents who will be facing christmas without their little one. but of what i feel needs to be done.
i did quickly skim down the very long list of tweets from celebrities offering their thoughts and sympathies. many of them brought up about gun control. i do agree – it is a step towards the right direction
but only one person, howie mandel, actually, said something that stuck out:
“The tragedy today speaks volumes about our society’s negligence toward identifying and acting on mental health issues.”
up here in canada, we have gun control. the laws stipulating how one owns and uses a gun can’t get anymore stricter then it already is. yet, as this past year has shown, we’ve faced innocent lives ripped apart during the gun fires between gangs in more than one public place (all within just a few months).
we can try to control the access of guns and other weapons – but i believe it would be so much more effective if we are able to find a way to prevent the problem in the first place.
anyway – i have said enough for the time being.
my thoughts and prayers go out to those who suffered from friday morning’s incident in newtown. and my prayers will continue to wish for a better future for our world.
i have been really sporadic with my blog posts these past couple of months. i miss this place. it’s just been a little on the chaotic side. believe me, i have little thoughts and ideas popping up in my head about what i want to blog about. but by the time i actually get to it, i’ve forgotten some of the details or it just seems like old news. even for me.
so as a way to play catch-up, here’s another list of random updates:
- these past two months, i’ve been ogled or approached by strange men when out in public. no, i know what some are thinking. that i should take it as a compliment. but why? i know i am more the plain jane, almost 40 (in about 3 weeks) type. and to be completely honest, these men are not charming at all. it would be one thing if i at least encountered some one who is charming. i’m faithful to the bone to my husband but this all actually depresses me. because i can’t help but to think that should anything happen between doug and i (that very hypothetical thought in which i rather would not linger on), THESE… are the type of suitors i would have available? pfffbbtt!
- i don’t always like to admit being wrong. but when i’m wrong, i’m wrong. and i definitely was wrong about The Vampire Diaries. when this show first hit the scene 3 seasons ago, i mistook the commercials to make it look like twilight meets 90210. there are some teenage angst and romance and minor shallowness (but only from one character) but all in all, it’s pretty well written. i can’t help but to draw similarities of this show to Twilight. though one must point out – The Vampire Diaries is based on books that were written before the Twilight series came out. i don’t know how well they are written but the whole high school girl and over a century old vampire trapped in a 17 year old body is definitely not new.
- i have been much more social this past month then the last two months before. i managed to go out for a good friend’s 40th birthday with another gf (we all knew each other from high school) and it was just so much fun! we left the restaurant just a little before midnight. i’m sure the cleaning crew were glad to see us go! then the following week, we went to t&t’s place for some take-out sushi. always a fun get-together with that family.
- we started our christmas baking this past weekend. which means that i also started my traditional shot or two of baily’s irish cream. rarely do i ever indulge in this rich, alcoholic beverage outside of this time of year. it’s much more special this way.
- i downloaded talyor swift’s latest song – I Knew You Were Trouble. playing it on repeat.