baby showers – how to play the games

i went to a friend’s baby shower this past sunday – it was lovely. the setting, the decorations, the food… i was thankful B was there. I didn’t know many of the people and a few that i did know, i’m not that close to. either way, afternoon tea is always something i enjoy – regardless of who i know.

with some one who struggles with anxiety/depression disorder, it’s weird that i’m perfectly content to sit on my own and daydream away in the middle of a room of strangers. it’s a gift, i suppose. not that i willingly put myself into that type of situation – it’s just a gift in that if i do find myself surrounded by strangers and no one seems interested in talking with me, i always have that ‘escape’ option that i’ve become good at over the years.

anyway, i’m horrible at those baby shower games. i basically have never won – which is fine. but yeah – it’s the one area where my competitive nature gives up because i know it’s hopeless.

the hardest game this past sunday was to name a word related to babies (and early years motherhood) for every letter of the alphabet. in three minutes. the hint was that the most unique words would win us more points.

okay. easy enough.

except that it wasn’t. it was hard. it was… like… making us THINK! on a SUNDAY! at a PARTY! while drinking TEA! and AFTER stuffing our faces with finger sandwiches and tasty pastries – the blood was already working on my digestion and no where near my brain.

when the hostess told us to start, i stared at the letter A intensely. i know the idea was to come up with a unique word – but at that point, i couldn’t even come up with any common words!

so… i did the best i could. i wrote down, ‘anal thermometer.’

when the hostess came to collect our answers, she then explained she would give us some one else’s paper and we would ‘grade’ the words together. to my horror, mine got passed to an older lady (a relative – i think an aunt) sitting RIGHT across from me.

was i really about to be the cause of this older, possibly conservative, chinese lady to have to say the word ‘anal’ at her niece’s baby shower?

now, i will admit. part of me was curious – curious to the reactions and you know, maybe baby showers don’t need to be so conservative and traditional. after all, i followed the rules and ‘anal thermometer’ can be related to babies since it is one of two options on how to take their temperature (yes, i know – with technology being as easy as going to our local pharmacy store, you can get those battery operated ones you stick in the ear… but the anal option, since it’s to unsafe to take their temperature orally at that age, IS the most accurate way to get a good reading of their internal body temperature).

the other part of me wanted to crawl under a rock and die. i am so much more conservative now that i am older and, well, a mother. but the fear of my past reputation – the catalyst for certain ‘trouble’ at parties, started to creep back and i could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as i was about to be exposed to these strangers of what type of person i use to be.

well, turns out that everyone had a good laugh. including the lady that had to read it – actually, i think she even enjoyed shouting it out.

for the letter B, i played it safe. i put down ‘bibs’ but in my mind, i was actually thinking, blistering nipples.

the dancing bug

inspired by my good friend, B (and her groovey, dancing boys), i was reminded of what chaeli was like when she use to shake her bootie.

dancing to the wiggles a video by shyeyes on Flickr.

chaeli danced to the wiggles, though, not to UB40 like B’s boys. have to admit her coolness factor wasn’t as high.

every now and then i need to cleanse my soul…

• i like that song from selena gomaz. that ‘i love you like a love song, baby’ one. chaeli likes it too but that’s okay. she’s 7. no one expects her to have a refined taste in music. i’m turning 39 in a couple of weeks. what’s my excuse? did i mention it was from selena gomez? (though she does seem like a decent kid so i’m rooting for her to have a successful life)

still looks good at 52

• most nights, i sing some songs to chaeli at bedtime. sometimes, doug will lie on her bedroom floor and catch a quick cat nap. he isn’t a big fan of some of the songs i choose to sing. not because of the melody but because of the lyrics. so sometimes, i’ll wait until they’re both asleep before i break out into the morrissey thing… “and if a double decker bus… crashes into us… to die by your side… what a heavenly way to die.”

• i like it when doug showers in the morning. because i’m still in bed and the sound of the shower always makes me feel peaceful. it’s a nice way to wake up.

nostalgia of a very ‘WHOOOOAAAAA’ moment

my friend, tai – now he’s a fun guy. and a funny guy.

he called me at work to tell me about the movie, drive – mainly because he knows my taste in movies and generally has a pretty good idea of whether or not i’ll like it.

anyway, at the end of the phone conversation i asked him, “btw… but was there another reason why you called me?”

he replied, “no. i just wanted to tell you about the movie.”

“that’s it?”

“yeah. i wanted to be the first to tell you about it.”

this totally made me nostalgic. it completely brought me back to the days before we were all married and spending most weekends as a group, eating out, watching movies, clubbing or just hangin’ downtown, either somewhere or at ada’s and hoa’s place (since it was central).

we’re talking ten years ago, walking on richmond street of downtown toronto, on the way to meet up with other friends… tai wanted badly – oh so very badly - to tell me this one opening scene of swordfish.

but i wouldn’t let him. he pleaded, “oh come on… just this one scene. it won’t spoil the rest of the movie. i promise.”

“no,” i said, “i want to see it for myself!”

“okay, okay…”

we walked in silence and i could tell it was just killing him. so i caved, “alright fine – tell me.”

“okay! well, there’s this explosive scene. and the graphics were just SO cool! it was like… everything in slow-mo but you’re spinning with it. yet all the things are still in the air… like hanging there… and it was like… ‘WHOOOOAAAAA!’”

that ‘whooooaaaa’ part was when he tried to mimic the scene with his body.

right there.

on the sidewalk.

with people passing by.

when he was finished, i just looked at him and asked, “that’s it? that’s what you wanted to tell me?”

“yeah.”

“what the hell was that? what’s ‘whooooaaaa’? that doesn’t tell me anything.”

“well, i guess you have to see it to know what i’m talking about.”

normally, my conversations with tai were not like this. they have more of a point and sometimes, even very insightful. this above conversation wasn’t one of them. but i’m glad we had it – because years later, i can still remember his giddiness when i let him tell me the story. and how it was just such a carefree night.

and, of course, how it made for good ribbing from the rest of the posse for years to come.

plus, when i finally watched swordfish, i knew what he was talking about – and yes, it was definitely a very cool scene indeed.

some memories live forever

sometimes i think back to memories that have significantly added quality to my life. there are so many to choose from. i think what makes these memories special is that they can not be replicated. the instance it took place, the people, the mood and right opportunity – to try to repeat it would only lead to disappointment.

to list some of them:

colborne lane during earth hour

it’s true that the food was outstanding. but i think it was the people we shared this experience with that made it a perfect night.

first night in bangkok

i still remember this night even though it happened nearly ten years ago. three of my best friends and i arrived in bangkok on khoa san road. there was one person we were to meet up with the next day and i wish she were with us that first night. because after a day of traveling, we were baked. but it was daytime and we wanted to reset our internal clocks. by the evening, we set out for a spot for dinner.

it was just a simple place with large windows that opened into the street to give it that overall, open-space feel. i’m sure we ordered different types of dishes but the one that i will never forget was the pad thai. up until then, i never tasted pad thai as good as that dish we consumed that night. and the beer. the cold, thai beer.

i remember a feeling of euphoria while i thought to myself, “i’m finally here… this is real and i’m finally here.”

grand palace – bangkok thailand

same trip as the above… this time within the walls of the grand palace.

i specifically remember being next to my friends while standing infront of the large statue of budha. just for a brief moment, i felt like something was happening to all of us. as if that moment would change us. forever. i found myself all of the sudden very emotional. in a good way.

second trip to disney world

personally, i’ve been to disney world at least half a dozen of times. but it was the 2nd time with doug and chaeli which sticks out the most.

perhaps it was because chaeli was older and was able to enjoy it more than the first time. or perhaps we stayed in disney world rather then just outside which we discovered made a huge difference (and we didn’t have to spent that much more).

but what made this trip so great was that there were little surprises along the way. maybe it was luck that we were there at the right time and at the right place. i don’t know. but with an invitation to go behind the scenes at epcot’s living seas pavillion, getting vip seats at beauty and the beast and chaeli getting a chance to go to the stage at the end to receive a rose from the prince… these were just some of the examples of the luck we had. and all we were doing was just standing there!

the little waterfall on highway 1

for the life of me, i would not be able to find this fall again. i just remember it was the california road trip i took with tai and arvie. we were making our way from monterey bay down to los angeles by highway 1 (for most of the way). the road was winding quite a bit and so our speed had to be slow. i saw this long and tall water fall by the mountain side and asked tai to stop.

we got out of the car to take photos.

it was lovely. and secluded. the fall was surrounded by lush green and all i could do was just stand and marvel at it.

acapulco cruise port

we were on our way for the panamal cruise. the ship set sale on the first night from acapulco. but not after it remained on dock until after the 2nd seating for dinner.

i remember wandering on to the deck to take a farewell view of the bay. the sun was just near the end of setting and the hillside was lit with tiny lights.

by best friends’ wedding

it’s not often you get to be a part of the wedding where the entire wedding party is your close circle of good friends.

meeting my daughter for the very first time

i saved the best for last.

the nurse put her on my chest. she was crying with gusto! but as soon as i said, “hello” she stopped immediately and looked up at me.

there was recognition. she knew my voice. she knew me.

changing times

when i was in grade school, the only drill we had was a fire drill.

today – chaeli’s drill was about what to do if their school goes into lock down due to a violent attack.

i told doug that i am glad that they prepare them. not so glad that our world has come to this…

rouge valley – changing of colours

last weekend, we went back to the rouge valley. i think it’s becoming our ‘go-to place’ whenever we want a quick-fix hike. it’s just 10 minutes away and the types of trails are both beautiful and different from one another.

the trail – the whole distance to and back was about 1.5 hrs.

just a touch of autumn colours started to appear.

interesting leaning tree overhanging the valley.

next weekend is our canadian thanksgiving weekend. chaeli is staying over at my parents’ place for a sleep over so doug and i can celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary with a streneous hike along hockley valley (part of the bruce trail). i’ll pack a picnic so we can munch and enjoy the view on top.

i’m hoping the weather will be good enough for us to go. it’s not something i want to do in the rain because some of the rocky climbs can be slippery and dangerous in wet weather. it’s also a perfect opportunity for us to go alone without chaeli. not because i don’t want her there but it’s too advanced for a young kid. hopefully, when she’s older, though, she’ll join us.

i haven’t done the hockley valley trail in over ten years but i remember it being quite a tough hike. it was porbably on my top three tough hikes ever (first being up a mountain in thailand through a rain forest; 2nd is a tie with hockley valley – the trails from point lobos state park of northern california… but i don’t know if it was that hard or if it was because i was hiking while recovering from a respiratory bug).

anyway – with all the working out i’ve been doing, i’m really curious as to see how i’ll fair with hockley.

i miss paddling

for some of my newer vox friends, you probably don't know that i use to be a competitive dragon boat paddler.

i mean – really competitive. like, i lived for the sport. i never went all the way though – i tried, but was taken off on the last cut for the final roster on the national women's team.

this past weekend, we were at cathy's in-law's cottage. and on a whim, i jumped into the canoe with stephen and his daughter. before i knew it, i was paddling hard (or as hard as i could – i'm rusty after all) - digging deep with that blade and torquing my torsal with enough force to feel the pull of the water.

that same rush came back – the one where you start to pick up speed across the water. and you feel as if your arm, shoulders and back are a mere extention from the boat.

later on, doug and i hopped into a two-seated kayak.

i felt it again. the pull of the water. the exhileration of digging deeper. the breeze as we coasted across the surface.

the thing is, i don't miss dragon boat racing. i just miss that feeling. and because i have to be careful with my back, i need to find a sport where i'm not bending at my waist as much. which dragon boat demands of you.

i might check out some city club for outrigger canoeing – for leisure sport, only. i'm not at the point in my life where i can commit to being competitive (not wth my full schedule as it is).

Outrigger-canoes

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kiss and tell! ;)

Shy_vanadis3

a couple of nights ago, i had a dream where i was heading into the supermarket. just outside, there was this young woman – i would say she was a little bit punk. she had tattoos, funky hair, a nose ring and definitely had an edge to her.

anyway, she was crying. so i went up to her and asked her if she was okay. without any warning, she flung herself into my arms and started to sob hysterically.

i never got the story out of her but i felt a huge rush of empathy for her sorrows.

after calming her down, we started to talk about other things. we were holding hands and flirting with one another like crazy. it didn't take long for me to cup her face and give her a  kiss on her lips.

i woke up then and while i couldn't remember the details of her face anymore, i knew that it was violca.

violca was this young lady i met ten years ago at a party. she was a dj back then – i have no idea what she's up to these days. anyway, when i arrived at the party, not knowing anyone except for mad-boy (who dragged me there), plus rvx and tai (who i dragged with me), she came up to me shortly and said, "hi! you're shy, right?"

i was taken aback a bit. after answering that yes, indeed that's who i am, i inquired how she knew. apparently, mad-boy had sent all his friends the link to my website back then.

ah. so they all knew me way more then i knew them.

anyway – i had to admit, violca was very cool. she wasn't an obvious beauty you would pick out from the room but the girl had a quality to her that was hard to ignore. perhaps her confidence was part of her sex appeal. it wasn't over-bearing, either. it was, i would say… grounded but very present. not cocky, not show-y and definitely did not feel the need to be part of the spotlight. and yet, she was definitely always on the edge of the spotlight – a force to be reckoned with.

i suppose i had one too many drinks. and she didn't hide her attraction towards me. closer to the end of the night, i did exactly to her as what i did to this young symbolic woman who represented her from my dreams – i reached out, cupped her face and kissed her. just for a moment or two.

and you know what? she kissed better then most guys i've kissed.

don't ask me how many i've kissed, either. it's an embarrassing amount (like, waaaaay more then necessary).

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ghetto up-bringing, best friends and weird dreams

this past saturday, we went to di and rick's place for a get-together. better yet, ada and hoa were back for a visit from vancouver so having them there with us just felt so good.

anyway, ssq whom i befriended around the same time i befriended cathy in grade 7, was talking about how ghetto we were growing up back in the hood (nickname for scarborough). to think – our childhood memories consisted of going to the movies where our parents would sneak in popcorn and pop cans as to avoid buying the food there. i know – that's not really ghetto but for us, living in canada, that's about as ghetto as it gets.

that and having birthday parties at mcdonald. ghetto.

now, rvx's wife, taryne, grew up in the high park area – very opposite of ghetto. and while she protested to the lifestyle differences, ssq explained it beautifully with the following…

ssq: when we were in miami, there was a place where you could swim with the dolphin. it cost $160 to actually swim with them. if you sat on the dock and have them swim up to you, so you could pet them, it was $80. and then, there were these people behind the fence with a video cam, watching and filming the dolphins…

me: let me guess – that's what we represent. scarborough people. we're the ones behind the fence.

ssq. exactly! because you know our parents would have said, "why would you want to pay $160 if you can see them from here???"

and with that, we high-fived each other. i'm not really sure why – it's nothing to be proud of. but the fact that we weren't alone on this and that we truly understand the meaning behind being brought up in scarborough, was a bonding factor.

anyway, i had a crazy dream that night. and it pertains to what happened during the party. cathy's sweet H came in from swimming in the pool. he was in the middle of the kitchen when he announced, "i'm going to take my pants off now!"

cathy looked a bit mortified and she tried to tell him not to. but being the shit-disturbers we were, the rest of us told him to go ahead.

before this happened, we also had a conversation where we agreed that H took after his father, greg.

and it was that exact moment, when H was bare-bottomed in di's kitchen when i asked, "and is this something that greg would do as well?"

to which ssq replied, "i don't know but he better not do that in our kitchen!"

so anyway, that night, i dreamt that it wasn't H who decided to take his pants off, but ssq. and a mob of us screamed out, "nooooo! some one stooooop hiiiiiiim!!!"

very disturbing dream indeed.

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