a dialogue with my tummy

you know you’re going crazy, not when you start talking to your stomach, but when it starts talking back… (it was a very short conversation, though)

easter bunny dialogue

our egg-art for the year

Easter egg hunt was good this year but I think this is the last year Chaeli believes in The Bunny dude.

A couple of nights before easter, Doug was tucking Chaeli in for the night. She said, “Daddy, I don’t know if there’s such a thing as the Easter Bunny.”

Doug is thinking, ‘Oh crap! I just spent $50 on chocolate!’ (And when he told me this part, I was like, “Oh crap! $50??? I asked you to help me this year, not empty the bank!” I usually spend about half that much – I think he was compensating for the first Easter Sunday he has to work.)

He played along with little miss and said, “Why do you say that?”

“Dad… It’s a RABBIT!” But you have to picture this 8 year old girl, going on 25, like she was saying, “Dude… Come on. How the hell can a rabbit, one TINY rabbit, do all that?”

pausing to inspect her loot

The morning of the egg hunt, she paused for a moment and asked, “Mommy… Is this from the Easter Bunny? Or from you and daddy?”

Yup, she’s totally onto us.

she wasn't able to reach this high last year

comparing ‘rescue me’ and real firefighting stories…

well, i will say this…

in an episode where an apartment with a weed grow ops went up in flames, the crew went in and came out pretty much high. they were all giddy and laughing like little school girls.

and laughing at the word ‘bong.’

i asked doug, “could something like this happen to you?”

his response was, “of course not. we put on our o2 masks BEFORE going in.”

“oh.”

that pretty much sums it up.

tv does not equal reality. at least in this case.

damn firefighters

every time doug is on shift, he emails me their menu for the day. and it’s always good.

so cruel.

and do you know that whenever they work a sunday shift, a nice old lady down the street drops off two different types of home made pies? EVERY SUNDAY!

i asked doug, “why? what’s it for?”

he replied, “because it’s sunday.”

“you mean, she does this JUST because it’s sunday?”

“yup.”

“for no reason?”

“yup. she just likes to bake. and she likes firefighters.”

“well… what kind of pies?”

“umm… coconut cream pie aaannd… lets see… oh yes! maple pecan!”

we should all become firefighters.

just for the pie.

it’s all downhill from here

since doug started his 7 x 24hrs shifts (per 4 week cycle), he’s had a lot of time to now take chaeli to school, as well as pick her up from school.

AND YES I’M LOVING IT!

up until now, the grade two teachers saw me pretty much all the time. yesterday was the first time i set foot in her school since before the holidays. the teacher looked surprised, “hey! i was wondering where you went? were you sick? busy?”

so i explained how our schedule and routine is going to be much more balanced from now on – that now that my husband is working as a 5th class firefighter, his shifts are long but spread out.

when one of chaeli’s classmates heard ‘chaeli’s dad is now working as a firefighter’, i heard him say, “whoooaaa! you’re dad’s a firefighter?”

and then when i explained to her teacher how the nature of the 24 hr shift will make him have to sleep overnight at his fire station. as soon as i said, ‘sleep overnight at his fire station’ i heard another kid say, “siiiiiic!!!!!”

as i walked down the hall towards the front exit with chaeli, i thought to myself, damn. i’m never going to be the parent with a cool job will i? her friends will be over and they’ll all be like, “hey mister T! what up? put out any fires lately?*”

i’ll be standing there like chopped liver meekly sharing what i did at work, “umm… i just finished a email marketing campaign that will run once a month for the next six months?”

[insert crickets chirping]

*okay – so i don’t know how the kids talk these days but you get the picture.

the hotness of firefighters

i’m sitting with female co-workers, posing the following question.

me: “so, my husband says that sometime near the end of their training, they want all the rookie firefighters to invite their spouses out to this luncheon thing – sort of a meet and greet the city’s top execs, marshals and whatever of the department. what exactly do i wear to one of these things?”

co-worker #1: “you’ll be surrounded by hot firefighters?”

co-worker #2: “you’ll want to wear something sexy, then.”

co-worker #3: “that’s right! go out and buy something new – something really, really hot!”

me: “umm… you do realize my husband will be there.”

co-workers #1 and 2: “so what?!? just do it!”

co-worker #2: “you know, if there’s any fundraising event or whatever, i’ll be there. for all of them.”

co-worker #3: “can i come to this luncheon?”

me: “you guys are no help at all.”

seriously – what is it with firefighters? you can take a normal, average guy, put him in firefighter gear and *WHAM*! instant attraction!

not too different from those axe commercials.

nostalgia of a very ‘WHOOOOAAAAA’ moment

my friend, tai – now he’s a fun guy. and a funny guy.

he called me at work to tell me about the movie, drive – mainly because he knows my taste in movies and generally has a pretty good idea of whether or not i’ll like it.

anyway, at the end of the phone conversation i asked him, “btw… but was there another reason why you called me?”

he replied, “no. i just wanted to tell you about the movie.”

“that’s it?”

“yeah. i wanted to be the first to tell you about it.”

this totally made me nostalgic. it completely brought me back to the days before we were all married and spending most weekends as a group, eating out, watching movies, clubbing or just hangin’ downtown, either somewhere or at ada’s and hoa’s place (since it was central).

we’re talking ten years ago, walking on richmond street of downtown toronto, on the way to meet up with other friends… tai wanted badly – oh so very badly - to tell me this one opening scene of swordfish.

but i wouldn’t let him. he pleaded, “oh come on… just this one scene. it won’t spoil the rest of the movie. i promise.”

“no,” i said, “i want to see it for myself!”

“okay, okay…”

we walked in silence and i could tell it was just killing him. so i caved, “alright fine – tell me.”

“okay! well, there’s this explosive scene. and the graphics were just SO cool! it was like… everything in slow-mo but you’re spinning with it. yet all the things are still in the air… like hanging there… and it was like… ‘WHOOOOAAAAA!’”

that ‘whooooaaaa’ part was when he tried to mimic the scene with his body.

right there.

on the sidewalk.

with people passing by.

when he was finished, i just looked at him and asked, “that’s it? that’s what you wanted to tell me?”

“yeah.”

“what the hell was that? what’s ‘whooooaaaa’? that doesn’t tell me anything.”

“well, i guess you have to see it to know what i’m talking about.”

normally, my conversations with tai were not like this. they have more of a point and sometimes, even very insightful. this above conversation wasn’t one of them. but i’m glad we had it – because years later, i can still remember his giddiness when i let him tell me the story. and how it was just such a carefree night.

and, of course, how it made for good ribbing from the rest of the posse for years to come.

plus, when i finally watched swordfish, i knew what he was talking about – and yes, it was definitely a very cool scene indeed.

about the birds and the bees talk – the questions get tougher

chaeli asked a boy at school to be her boyfriend.

this happened on a tuesday.

the thursday of that same week – a mere two days later – she dumped him.

:/

i asked her why she did that. and with each question, she answered me with a shrug and ‘i-dunno.’

“did something happen?”

“i dunno.”

“did he do something bad?”

“i dunno.”

“what… did you just change your mind?”

“i dunno.”

“well, is he okay? is he sad?”

“i dunno.”

it’s like she’s 7 going on 16. this isn’t good. not at all.

so we had a talk where she can’t just go around playing her friends like that. and that if she’s going to ask a boy to be her boyfriend, she should at LEAST commit to it for two weeks (which for their age is the standard time of a long-term relationship).

a day later, my parents picked her up from school. my mother told me that chaeli had asked them, “if i have a boyfriend, does that mean i’ll get pregnant? i don’t want to get pregnant.”

then my father pulled me aside and said, “when you two are alone, TALK TO HER!”

most likely, the mystery of why she broke up with this boy only after two days has been solved.

and i’ll be honest… it is tempting to let her believe this myth. just think… staying away from boys! for fear of getting pregnant! any chance i can let this go on until here teen years?

probably not. and the anxiety it is creating isn’t healthy. damn.

i’ll be checking out, It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families pretty soon.
 

we thought we were safe

chaeli: mommy, you know what?

me: what?

chaeli: justin asked me if he could be my boyfriend.

me: oh really?

chaeli: yeah.

me: and what did you say?

chaeli: i said, “yes!”

me: exactly how did he ask you?

chaeli: he said, “do you want to be my girlfiend?”

me: and this is for real?

chaeli: of course it is!

chest pain dialogue

wednesday afternoon, i started to experience some mild chest pains. they would come and go – nothing painful but definitely there. i pretty much knew it was a mild panic attack that was causing this symptom. i could feel it whenever i was struck with stress. but it lasted until thursday afternoon which totally sucked.

anyway, that night, the dialogue went something like this:

me: i’m having chest pains still. i think i’m having a heart attack.

doug: you’re not having a heart attack.

me (30 minutes later): i think i’m dying. do you think i’m dying? i could be going into cardiac arrest like right now.

doug: i really don’t think so.

me (10 minutes later): man, i’m dying and you don’t even care. you could be like… wifeless by the end of tonight! and chaeli would have to grow up without a mother!!!

doug: you’re fine.

sometimes i think the only reason i acquired a husband is for the purpose of having some one to bug. just like this.