lost in negative space

i feel like ever since my vox neighbours/friends moved to wordpress, even less of them are updating.

can this be blamed on wordpress? or vox? or six appart not being six appart anymore?

is there an issue in this universe? are we no longer feeling connected anymore?

i am looking at my wp-blogroll. i think only a quarter of those blogs, if even that, update on a regular basis (at least once a week).

this is very unsettling.

best parenting advice i’ve ever read

for me, this article rings true to the heart of my own philosophy of marriage with kids.

i’ve felt this way ever since i’ve become a parent but never fully understand why – this guy basically helped by putting all my thoughts and beliefs into words.

now, i will admit that the last segment of the article wasn’t something i truly bought. only because his answer was a bit too simplistic. having said that, it’s an interview – editing always makes everything seem more on the simplistic side.

anyway – the basic principle is that by putting your spouse first, you build a stronger foundation which causes less anxiety/stress for the kids. there’s still tension but the tension is ‘normal’ tension. everyday tension. after all, arguing in front our kids is not a bad thing. it’s reality – everyday reality. assuming it’s not violent always on-going, our kids need to know that yes, mommy and daddy are human and yes, just slike any normal and healthy relationship out there, we will argue.

secondly, i agree with the backlash of ‘over-parenting’. here’s a segment of this article:

It’s been said that the best thing you can do for your kids is love your partner. Does it come down to that?

I think it does. When we put our marriage first and our children second, everybody wins. The reason is children and their demands seem urgent whereas our marriages are important but not urgent, so we neglect to feed and water them and they die so slowly and quietly we don’t even realize there’s a problem until we look up five years later and we’re living like roommates. That’s when couples get divorced or have an affair. The neglected marriage creates tension in the household and children soak up that tension and act out or get sick.

What advice would you give a couple expecting their first child?

I would say it’s a myth that the more attention you give your kids the better they’ll turn out. And No. 2, arguing is not what kills a marriage, it’s when we avoid and dodge and don’t deal with each other that slowly, sneakily kills it.

Are you talking about what our parents did in the days before families became child-centred?

I don’t like to appeal to that 1950s idyllic image because I don’t know how true that was. I do think the previous generation did a better job of loving their spouse first and their children second. Children gain a tremendous amount of self-reliance and independence if they don’t have a parent standing over them acting as their entertainment director and referee and running interference with any problems that come along.

i’m not saying that we should always neglect our children but i do think that these days, parents are expected to perform over and beyond the nature of things. we are expected to be super-parents who are our children’s doctor, teacher, psychologist and while we’re so busy trying to do all this, we neglect the one area that is what keeps the household a strong unit – our marriage.

of course, i’ve been guilty of this. but ever since i’ve started to put my marriage first, parenting itself became easier.

the rest of the article: http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/family%20health/article/843720–put-marriage-ahead-of-your-kids

dry shampoo

so this morning, for the first time, i tried tresemme’s dry shampoo spray:

http://www.tresemme.com/Products/Fresh-Start/Fresh-Start-Dry-Shampoo/

i’ve heard of dry shampoo before but only the ultra-salon-expensive kind. i don’t doubt the expensive ones work even better but i’ve had my bad experiences with spending way more for hair products at salons that totally didn’t work for me (at least it just didn’t appear any better from store-bought products).

so yesterday, i decided to give tresemme’s dry shampoo spray a go.

not bad at all! not a miracle-working product but definitely good enough if you need something to give your hair a boost inbetween washes. i wouldn’t go longer then 48 hours without a traditional wash, though. but i could see skipping the shampoo every other day by using this product.

i will say that this is perfect for anyone who has an active lifestyle. if you’re like me, you don’t have time nor want to damage your hair with muliple washes a day since you work out multiple times a day. especially if gym time is during lunch hour. this will be a gym-rat’s best friends.

a glimpse of my normal routine

i got to do my p90x this morning – yeay! :)

now that i have a better idea of when hobbes needs his outing, i can figure out when my ‘safe-workout’ period should be. true – it’s 15 minutes earlier, but i’ll find a way to adjust.

i’m also looking into doggy daycare.

yes, i know. scoff if you will. i was a scoffer too before owning a dog and now i scoff no more.

the greatness of doggy daycare should be taken advantage of when they can not hold their bladders for a full day. and i found a place that charges just a fraction of most places (it just means that i have to allow 10 minutes more traveling time each way per day i send him there.)

if i can get doggy daycare for either monday or friday; my aunt/uncle to take hobbes on the other day of that monday or friday; and then doug is home on wednesdays… that means i can go to the gym 3 times a week. monday, wednesdays and fridays. :) yeay!

the added bonus – hobbes will be getting his socialization met at this very influencial age. just like young children, it’s what helps to build their confidence amount different dogs and people. the first year is the most important – it sets their path for years to come.

after the first year of his life, we probably won’t need doggy daycare for more then once a week. most of these places also have grooming services so when it’s time for him to get a hair cut or nails clipped, we can kill two birds with one stone.

i know – all i’ve been talking about is hobbes lately. i promise in the near future, my posts will be about something else. :)

week 1, day 2: project hobbes

seriously… i don't get him. i mean, i was giving him one last chance to pee before placing him in his pen and all he wanted to do was eat grass.

this is the part of puppy training that just boggles my mind. doesn't he realize that pee-ing then would mean hours of relief from holding it until lunch time?

i was already running late so i looked at him and said, "well, hobbes… last chance. no? no pee? alright then. into the pen. good luck holding it in."

of course, all he did was look at me, cocking his head to one side , wondering why i keep on calling him 'hobbes.'

having said that, i'm starting to see a pattern as we set a schedule for him. this is the 3rd night where he held out in his crate for several hours. like the first night, after 30 minutes of whining/barking in his crate, of which we are getting better at ignoring, he settled down and didn't bark to be let out until seven hours later.

doug also took him and chaeli to the park across from us and ran him around like mad. that made him pooped pretty much for the entire night. so you know i'll be doing that with him every day. it makes cuddling time that much sweeter.

aside from his diarrhea incident in the morning, he had no accidents in the house yesterday. and it appears that he's already showing signs of not needing to go for a pee as often as the first day. i wonder if it was more nervous-pee that had him going out every 15-20 minutes over the weekend?

now… how am i doing?

oye – it's a toss up. i swap from adoring him and loving that we have such a good puppy (because to be honest, we're lucky – while he's still got some ways to go, he seems to pick things up fast, as well) to 'oh my god what was i thinking?'

i think the hardest thing for me is changing my schedule. i have no qualms about giving up my lunch workouts because i knew that would happen at least for the next three months (when his bladder will hold out for a full workday).

it's my morning workouts. i have now missed two mornings in a row and it's killing me. doug encouraged me to try but i was just to tired both mornings and somewhat 'on edge' with the change of my entire morning schedule.

but, i have outlined a new workout just for the mornings. it won't be amazing but should be enough to maintain my fitness level so that i don't lose all the benefits from my hard work. so for the rest of the week, i'll make sure to squeeze in 3 to 4 workouts and next week, i'll try my best to get 5 workouts in. the week after that is our vacation. when we start the school year, i'll be aiming at 6 workout days a week again. hopefully, i'll continue down that path.

the upside is that i can play around with a new schedule – one that will be a nice chance from what i've been doing – just to mix things up a bit.  

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